THE EUPHORIA

EXPERIENCE

*DISCRETION

IS ADVISED*

*WARNING: The content discussed in this piece is sometimes graphic, sometimes sexual, sometimes controversial, sometimes with cussing, so please read at your own discretion and do not complain afterwards if something offends you. You’ve been warned lol*

Euphoria is hands down, the most fucked TV show I have ever watched lol seriously after the first episode when the ‘Play Next Episode’ came up, I just sat there thinking, “What the fuck did I just watch..” It was a similar feeling I had after we did cadaver labs in Massage College, you just have no energy left for anything that requires any kind of significant, intellectual response and just want to turn your brain off and chill the fck out. I think the responses were similar bc of the intensity of each experience. In the Cadaver lab, I was looking at bodies that were once walking, talking human beings with friends, family, favourite foods, favourite smells, but then to see them in the state they were in as a Cadaver just left me awestruck. Euphoria starts with one of the first scenes as a full frontal of Eric Dane’s character putting a condom on his erect cock and then pounding away at a 17 year old lol I almost turned it off I could not believe that I had just opened brain pathways for a scene like that. Then the rest of the episode is Kat looking like she might lose her virginity in a gangbang, Maddy having sex with a guy in the pool in the middle of a party, Nate and Jules fight and it ends with Jules cutting her arm and wiping on Nate. The episode ends with the camera showing that the man that had sex with Jules in the hotel was Nate’s Dad lol just an absolute mindfuck to the senses. Seriously I just sat in stunned silence after that and didn’t watch another episode for weeks.

As I continued watching there was more and more fucked up shit happening every episode with nothing good actually happening to balance it out. It got to a point where I realized I hate almost all of these characters lol it’s ironic the show is called Euphoria bc it is actually a show about people living in hell. Watching Rue mumble and stumble around all fcked up and constantly put other characters in danger being a naive fcking idiot drove me insane. Cassie’s subservience to literally every guy she was with was so fn maddening. Maddy basically worshipping Nate despite being treated like trash and helping him frame an innocent guy really pissed me off but I will say she grew on me with her response to Nate and Cassie. Thought she would go psycho but she actually played it mature and came out looking powerful. Kat’s staggeringly fucked up decision making like fucking a random guy bc her boyfriend had a harmless 30 second conversation with another girl just disgusted me. Lexi creating a play about their real lives putting some seriously personal shit on display for everyone without warning those involved is fucked up. Honestly I think Fezco and Ali are about the only regular characters that I actually liked over the first 2 seasons.

So I am watching this show and realizing that 1 of the only reasons I’m still watching is so I can get some closure and forget about it when it’s over. I can only watch on Saturday Night’s bc Saturday Night has a certain energy I feel matches the show. I watched it over the course of almost a year bc sometimes I was just not in the mood to subject myself to the fcked up shit that happens on this show lol so some Saturday’s were skipped and sometimes I could only do 1 episode. More fucked up things keep happening and just when it builds to the point where I almost can’t take it anymore, I get to the scene of Elliot’s Song to Rue in the final episode of S2 and fuck me if it wasn’t one of the greatest scenes of TV I’ve ever watched. The song was fcking incredible but the moment when they delivered it after all that build was just perfection. Whether they intended to do that or not, they delivered something truly special. It was like having the most stressful day of your life and going up on a roller coaster you don’t want to be on, you feel that energy building and you’re waiting for the drop but instead of the drop, your cart leaves the track and starts flying around peacefully. No lie I probably rewound that scene at least 25 times bc the song was just amazing and the energy it delivered was not something you feel every day so I had to enjoy the moment.

After that, my perspective of the show and all the previous episodes totally changed. I finally got the balance I needed from all that fcked up shit happening in those first 15 episodes all at once and it was one of the best payoffs I’ve had watching a TV show. I was excited to go on the Euphoria Reddit to read discussion, I waited until after the show was over bc I was always a week behind watching on Saturday and of course ppl hate on and mock Elliot’s Song lol fn reddit. But that can’t ruin the moment for me, like I said it was one of the best experiences I’ve had watching a TV show. Really disappointed that Elliot wasn’t in S3 but overall I actually enjoyed S3 and it was prob my fav season. Don’t get me wrong, there was a lot that I didn’t like about it but after Elliot’s Song, I don’t know I just saw the characters differently and the switch flipped to enjoying their journeys in S3. I want to go over each character and vent a bit about them so I think that is where I will put my thoughts about S3.

RUE

Despite what happened in the final episode, I think Rue Bennett might have had more plot armour than any TV character I’ve ever seen. I mean the situations she got out of unscathed was ridiculous. It drove me insane to watch her act like such a naive fcking idiot constantly putting Fez and herself in danger. The first time Mouse comes over to Fezco’s apartment and Fez is trying to get her to leave and she just ignores him making an already tense, dangerous situation 10x worse. In that situation with a character like Mouse, it was completely unrealistic that nothing happened to her. I almost stood up off the couch I was so pissed off at her being such a fcking dumbass lol And they just kept happening.

Once again Rue refuses to fuck off and listen to Fez when they meet Laurie’s crew making that situation worse. But again no consequences of her dumbass actions. Gets injected w drugs and doesn’t develop any kind of addiction from that. That scene broke my heart bc as much as Rue annoyed the shit out of me, I didn’t want bad things to happen to her and I figured she was about to go down the road of shooting drugs. But then she was just fine and it was never mentioned again. Escapes from the cops on foot lol come on. Escapes Laurie’s with no incident. Survives an apple being shot off her head. Escapes from Wayne after Faye turns on her. Like i said, just an incredible amount of plot armour got her through this show.

But then we get to the end of S3 and it finally runs out. I think the thing that bothers me the most about Rue’s death is that everyone is gonna write it off as an overdose like Cassie did, when she was actually murdered. It seemed she had finally got control of her addiction and was about to start a better life. And then it was over. I refused to believe she was actually dead for most of the final episode until Ali wrote her name in his book. When you think back and realize her dream was actually Rue overdosing and gasping for her final breaths…I’ve known too many ppl that have died battling their addiction so it was a tough realization.(RIP Brittany 🙏💚😢)

Zendaya put in an incredible performance as Rue, she nailed the manic energy of needing a fix or when she couldn’t find the suitcase. So tough to watch her rip Jules and her Mother to shreds but honestly they did the dumbest thing they could do and it’s hard to blame Rue for exploding like that. Obviously Rue dealing drugs is a bad situation but just getting rid of 10k worth of drugs dropped a nuclear bomb on it. They should’ve been smart enough to know that getting rid of the suitcase would make things significantly worse. Telling Rue to give it back and agree to rehab or they call the cops is what they should have done. Ironically in trying to save Rue, their decision led Rue to the path that would end her life. I’ve seen memes about Zendaya not being a great actress and just using the same face in every movie but only people that haven’t watched Euphoria could say that. Bc if you had watched the show, you would have seen a 10/10 performance of a drug addict both in addiction and recovering.

Watching Rue and Faye swallow the drug bags was fn brutal man you couldn’t do that shit for long. I liked the connection Rue and Faye had so I was def disappointed when Faye screamed for Wayne when they had the safe open. I was happy that Alamo got her out of that situation with Laurie but was concerned bc guys like Alamo are much more villain than hero and you don’t want to owe anyone like that. Other than shooting an apple off her head and burying her up to her neck in the desert about to smash her with a club lol, Alamo treated her pretty good until Maddy mentioned the DEA and then obviously planned to kill her after that. The way he did it was so cold, setting it up so Rue delivered the lethal dose herself making it look like an overdose. I know some fans didn’t like the showdown with Ali and Alamo but I fcking loved it, I wanted Alamo dead and the fact that Ali was the one to do it was cathartic.

Despite it being chaotic at times, I enjoyed watching the relationship btwn Rue, Gia and her Mom so it was very disappointing to not have them in S3 or react to Rue’s death. I so wanted Rue and Gia to find a path that they could walk together on, help each other and be the best versions of themselves. The idea that Gia might think Rue overdosed is awful. The scenes with Rue and Gia were heartbreaking bc I have been Gia watching someone you love slowly kill themselves with drugs and there is nothing you can say to change their course. I’ve also been Rue’s Mom when Rue finds her at the table and her Mom says she is done trying to save Rue from this addiction and has come to terms that whatever bad happens is gonna happen. She is gonna focus on Gia who is starting to show signs of going down the same path. Rue def didn’t want that considering she forced Gia away from those guys who def had bad intentions for her. It is a war in itself to love and support someone through an addiction bc their addiction will do everything it can to get rid of obstacles to more. Really wish we got more reaction from the family. Don’t really understand not giving us a funeral for Rue when the funeral for her Dad was such a big part of the show. Rue’s speech at her Father’s funeral was incredible and hard not to get emotional. I did love that they included shots of her and Fezco in her dream, really hit home man they looked so fn happy.

I enjoyed her friendship with Jules and thought they were good for each other. But then trying to move it to a romantic relationship seemed to bring out the worst in them altho Rue’s addiction was a big part of the worst coming out. The scene of Jules going down on Rue and Rue being so high she can’t feel it so she fakes her pleasure and an orgasm is funny but more so fcking awkward lol You know that they both really cared for each other, that’s why Jules told her Mom about the suitcase but they should’ve handled it differently. God man I actually said “Ok that’s enough” when Rue was just shredding Jules and spitting true vitriol at her. The things she said were so harsh and must’ve cut Jules like a knife. Fn sucks that their last interaction is Rue delivering some harsh truth and Jules smacking her off her chair. Knowing Jules thinks it was an overdose makes Rue’s death so much worse. You’ll never convince me that Ali killing Alamo was a bad scene.

Another character I wish we could have seen react to Rue’s death was Elliot, I enjoyed all of their scenes and was rooting for them to end up together. I know they think they are bad influences for each other but i don’t know if i agree. Obviously they weren’t telling each other not to do drugs but they also weren’t pushing the other to do drugs either. It was their own personal choice and when they were together it was usually chill with some laughs and conversation, a connection like that can keep ppl from going further down a bad path. Altho he did have to save Rue’s life with Adderall after she almost OD’d the first time they met so I could be wrong haha but I think if they both got sober, they would have been a great influence on each other. Elliot’s Song was such a fcking incredible moment so for him not to be in S3 is a huge loss. I’d like to think that hearing about what happened to Rue will make him fight for a better future for himself.

For most of the show, I was beyond frustrated with Rue bc having dealt with addicts close to me in the past, she did such a great job it brought out some of those emotions. But in real life you have to check your reactions and be very careful about what you say bc you don’t want them to run away or fall into a deeper hole. Not the case with a TV show so I def vented at her while watching lol I loved her connection with Ali, the extra episode with their conversation was awesome but I also made Rue lashing out at Ali hurt that much more. Telling him nobody was really looking to him to be a parent made me say “oh shit” out loud when I watched it and you could see the hurt on Ali. I was concerned their story might end with Ali relapsing and overdosing with Rue kind of taking over where he left off but unfortunately the end Ali was afraid of for Rue came true.

I think part of why I liked S3 best was bc it was Sober Rue. I feel there is a similarity to Jane from Breaking Bad in that when they were sober, both were intriguing characters with a vibe you wanted to feel. But when they are addicts, they were just absolute chaos with a vibe you wanted to stay far, far away from. Rue being the one to reveal Cassie was with Nate kind of annoyed me, not that I felt sorry for Cassie or Nate, but she only did it to get the heat off of her addiction and the intervention. So she decided to ruin someone else’s life, one of the few mean spirited things Rue did. I thought it was cool at first that Rue was a manager for Alamo’s club bc I knew she would treat the girls right and was still hoping for Alamo to turn out to be a good guy. Fuck was I wrong about that haha loved that she beat Bishop at poker for a big pot but man I was concerned about the way Bishop treated her. Like he knew everything she was thinking and would eventually expose her as a rat to Alamo. I think he respected her, maybe even liked her but knew that she was a serious threat to their operation. I’d like to think hearing about Rue’s death was the moment Bishop decided he needed to do something about Alamo.

Watching Rue’s journey was a roller coaster of emotions but in the end I’m glad I was along for the ride. As sad as her death is, maybe it will be a wake up call for fans that are in her situation to get clean so they don’t end up sharing the same fate. Rue drove me crazy at times but I never wanted her journey to end like it did. I liked seeing her sober in S3 ready to take her life in a better direction. It was an exciting surprise to see that The Bible was part of her turning her life around bc Jesus really does save. The Bible can be a life preserver for those that feel like they’re drowning in an ocean and it was for Rue. Thought it was really unfair for Lexi to say the things she did to Rue, I get that she needed to focus on writing but if she had taken the time to really listen to Rue, she would’ve recognized that this was a different person than the addict everyone took her for. The fact that she was listening to the Bible when she died was so sad yet uplifting. When she was overdosing and reached out her hand to her Mother in her dream, God grabbed it.

Man I really had more to say than I thought haha but I think I covered everything I wanted to address. Up until Elliot’s Song I would’ve said I did not enjoy watching this show but after that and watching S3, I’m happy I got to experience a character like Rue. I was rooting hard for her to get away from the drugs and all those people so she could become the best version of herself. A life at that farm would have been a great end for her. Shout out to Jessica Treska who plays Daisy Miller, the girl at the farm Rue got a ride from, her reaction to hearing Rue died with the tears rolling down her cheeks was some seriously great work. Made Rue’s death hit home. Rue’s death has lingered with me since the finale and I think that’s a testament to what a great character Rue is.

MADDY

I have to start with saying that I don’t like promiscuity in either women or men so when I see a character that is promiscuous, I immediately shake my head and start feeling adversarial towards them. Given our first impression of Maddy is her deciding to get revenge on her boyfriend by having sex with a random guy in a pool in front of everyone at the party, you can guess how much of a fan I was of her haha then to see her with Nate and how submissive she was to him despite him treating her like shit made it hard to like her. Going through Nate’s phone and seeing all those dick pics must’ve been a huge shock but telling him is an interesting choice. As was dumping the award winning chili and calling his Mom a cunt but that did set off a chain of reactions that got her away from Nate for good so maybe a blessing in disguise.

Her backstory was interesting being successful at beauty pageants until her Mom got scared hearing about a coach molesting a contestant and refused to allow her to compete. Then going to work with her Mom as an aesthetician and observing the rich clients her Mom would work and wanting to be them instead of her Mom. Def sets up her future goals that we see in S3 but ironically she was still more like her Mom than those rich clients. Tough to watch Nate choke her at the carnival and then have her not only defend him, but frame Tyler for it. That’s the thing about toxic love, the toxic person shows just enough of the good in them that the victim is willing to forgive extreme levels of abuse to get some of the good. Bc if the toxic person could just show more of the good, then it would be a great relationship. And that begins the vicious cycle of being abused but always chasing the good in the toxic person so they always take them back. Sometimes the relationship eventually ends and sometimes the victim never has the strength to end it so they stay in the toxic relationship. And sometimes it ends in tragedy for the victim which is where I was afraid Maddy was heading.

When Maddy steals the DVD of Cal and Jules having sex, I thought that was the beginning of the end for her. Esp after her and Nate broke up at the end of S1 bc without that connection, I was afraid of what Nate would do to her when he found out she had the video. We saw just how far he would go when he breaks into her bedroom, climbs on top of her and plays Russian Roulette with the gun he brought until she finally relents and gives him the tape. As unfuckinghinged as this scene was, I think it was the moment where Maddy’s obsession with Nate finally ended so it was kind of a blessing in disguise. I went from being afraid for Maddy, to being afraid for Cassie after she hooks up with Nate to start S2. What a fn intense scene when Cassie is hiding in the bathroom and Maddy is trying to get in, then gets in and never looks in the tub where Cassie is hiding. Fck I thought Maddy was for sure gonna find her and have an all out war right there haha Nate’s beating from Fez made her feel sorry for him and want to get back together but the viewers knew that wasn’t happening. I didn’t feel sorry for Maddy when Cassie and Nate started hooking up, actually the opposite bc I finally saw a way out of that toxic relationship.

It was actually Maddy’s reaction to finding out about Cassie/Nate that made me start to like her character bc it was not what I expected. Initially she is obviously beyond pissed and wants to kill Cassie even chasing her around the stage at Lexi’s play haha but that didn’t last long. By S3 she was over it enough to attend Nate and Cassie’s wedding, even working with Cassie and not pining over Nate. Gained a lot of respect for her character actually taking this way out instead of trying to hang onto Nate by any means necessary which is what I thought she would do. In S3 she has left babysitting behind and is working for a talent manager, not getting much respect but making valuable contacts that could lead her to great success. Unfortunately she does not trust her instincts and drops a client bc of controversy with an actor instead of sticking with her. Her client’s popularity ended up exploding which would have put Maddy at the top of the food chain. Instead she stuck with her job and is still on the bottom.

Enter Cassie who is looking to OnlyFans to help give her the life she wants and needs Maddy’s help to get there. Maddy clearly would rather not deal with Cassie but see’s another opportunity to go from the bottom to the top so she agrees to manage her. The influencer world is so greasy but Maddy knew exactly what she was doing since Cassie ends up gaining significant popularity with her OnlyFans. That world is also cutthroat and Maddy knows there are other talent managers that will try to steal clients so she tricks Cassie into signing an exclusive contract with her. Unfortunately when she has lunch with Rue and Alamo shows up, Maddy makes a big mistake thinking she can work with Alamo and turn some of his strippers into OnlyFans models. At this point I was rooting for Maddy to succeed but knew that working with Alamo would be bad news and it was.

Turning his strippers into OnlyFans models is one thing, but receiving a favour from him puts herself in extreme danger. After Cassie pleads with Maddy to help Nate with the Russians that are terrorizing him, Maddy secures a loan from Alamo and I didn’t even want to imagine what he would seek in return. In a conversation with Alamo, Maddy casually drops that Rue said she was working with the DEA which was such bullshit bc no way is Maddy stupid enough to say that. She knows what kind of a man Alamo is and the activities he is involved in, there is just no way she doesn’t realize saying that is a death sentence for Rue, which it was. Alamo helps with the Russians but Maddy realizes he never had an intention to pay off Nate’s debt and was always going to kill them instead which would create a debt Maddy couldn’t pay off with money.

After Alamo kills the Russian, they dig up the coffin Nate was buried in and find him dead. Despite all that happened between them, that would be an awful moment. Maddy has a very sad and surreal breakfast with Cassie as they try not to react to Nate’s death and end up comforting each other. Hard to be happy for them knowing what they now owed Alamo. Made me sick to hear Alamo talk about Maddy giving him 4 babies and it was heart breaking knowing that the life Maddy tried to avoid since she was a child was about to find her. Thank God for Ali who shows up at Alamo’s club after Rue is killed to go on a rampage killing a bunch of Alamo’s guys and finally Alamo himself. But not before Alamo uses Maddy as a human shield and man I was sure after it was over we were going to cut to Maddy realizing she had been shot. Thankfully not her fate as she leaves with Alamo’s bodyguard Bishop that turned on him after it was over.

Love that ending for her as Bishop always seemed like more of a good guy than Alamo and he seemed into Maddy after the conversation they had when he was driving with her. As long as Bishop isn’t an abusive partner, this could be the connection that finally gives Maddy a good life. I could absolutely see Bishop and Maddy taking over the power vacuum left by Alamo’s death but doing better for the women they work with. They could be running an OnlyFans empire making more money than they ever would have seen with Alamo. Alamo’s strip club could be turned into an influencer’s club, the hot spot for viral moments and the place to be for OnlyFans models. If they wanted to continue the show as a spin-off, a Maddy-Bishop alliance could be some great TV.

Alexa Demie did a great job bringing Maddy to life and navigating the different aspects of her character. She was able to show weakness when with Nate and power when she finally left him. I started out not liking Maddy but by the end I was a fan and rooting for her to have a good ending. All things considered, I think she did and will end up with a good life for herself.

CASSIE

Gotta say man Cassie really annoyed me as a character for most of the show. Everything she did was dependent on what the man she was in love with wanted. It’s almost like she never had an independent thought. Her backstory kind of explains why she is like that, her relationship with her Father a main factor. She has to stop figure skating bc their family can’t afford lessons which is The first scene with McKay where he starts to choke her as they are going to have sex, she stops him bc she doesn’t want that but then relents and is ok with it as long as he asks for consent. I thought it was great that she stopped him but then was disappointed when she immediately changed her mind. Past nude photos start to negatively affect their relationship but I’ve never understood guys that freak out about shit like that. It was before she met McKay so it shouldn’t be a big deal. Obviously you don’t want anyone esp your friends to see your gf naked but why get jealous and angry over people googling photos when you get the real thing.

Wild scene when Cassie takes molly with Maddy, then rides the carousel with Daniel and basically has an orgasm lol Daniel wants more and really disrespects her when she turns him down but at least she finally had the guts to say no and stick to it. Fck that guy. Another fn wild scene when the frat guys bust into the room when Cassie and McKay are about to have sex and seemingly rape McKay but I guess it turns out they didn’t actually rape him and just simulated it. Either way just fcking insane. Cassie finds out she is pregnant and wants to keep it but McKay freaks out and wants her to get an abortion. The scene where Cassie gets an abortion was so emotionally draining. Obv I know abortions happen but I’ve never seen the process or had any idea of how it goes so to see it play out was intense. You could tell Cassie didn’t want to do it but once again makes the decision based on what the man she is with wants. Saying she just wanted to dream about it for a minute was tough.

Watching Cassie go through that process just hammers home why a woman should have the choice whether to do it or not. Obv the Father should have a say but considering what a woman goes through, it should be her choice. I put myself in that situation and if a woman got pregnant with my child and had an abortion without talking with me, I’d be pretty upset. But I would never force a woman to have a child, I would tell her how I feel and let her make the decision. Seeing it all unfold and how it affected Cassie was eye opening. Really incredible acting from Sydney Sweeney.

S2 see’s her hook up with Nate, fall in love and actually enter a relationship with him. Fck when they see each other outside the convenience store and it starts moving in that direction I was almost ready to yell out, “For the love of God don’t do it!” Haha as soon as they did, I was thinking Cassie was dead bc Maddy would no doubt kill her. That scene where she is having sex with Nate in the bathroom and Maddy knocks on the door, I was sure it would end in chaos. Seriously intense few minutes as she tries to get her cell phone before it makes noise but you know it is going off first. Was a nice swerve to have Maddy not care about the girl passed out in the tub and leave. That 4am morning routine montage was surreal and a little scary haha it just made me feel sorry for women like Cassie that let their entire world and existence revolve around a man, esp a colossal piece of shit man like Nate. After Maddy and Kat make fun of her for looking like she is auditioning for the Oklahoma play, we see more great acting from Sydney Sweeney as she loses her shit and confronts Maddy but not really haha only in her imagination.

When Rue finally exposes Cassie and Nate, it feels kind of fucked up. Rue is a mumbling, bumbling drug addict that desperately needs an intervention. But when it happens, she decides to ruin Cassie’s life to let herself off the hook. Cassie didn’t get with Nate while him and Maddy were together so technically she did nothing wrong. Obv it’s messed up to fuck and try to date your best friends ex that she was madly in love with for years. But that’s between Cassie and Maddy, had nothing to do with Rue but she just snitches out Cassie to save her own ass. I hated that their friendship was destroyed for a loser like Nate but Maddy let Cassie off easy. Instead of an ass kicking or humiliation, Maddy’s revenge would be letting her be with Nate and receiving all that comes along with that. Gotta admit it was hilarious seeing Maddy chase Cassie around the stage at the play with Kat(Don’t do it Maddy!) and BB(Beat her ass Maddy!) yelling opposite instructions lol

When S3 picks back up, Cassie and Nate are engaged and set to get married with Cassie having some expensive wishes for her day. Nate is having serious cash flow problems and can’t pay for what Cassie wants so she turns to starting an OnlyFans account and actually working with Maddy. I was thinking Maddy was going to sabotage and humiliate her but she she actually tries to set her up to be successful. OnlyFans is definitely a controversial subject, some love it, some hate it but I actually don’t have an issue with it and think it can be a good thing. Anything can be exploited as we saw in the show but at it’s best, OnlyFans gives control to the woman. Kind of like making them the Hugh Hefner of their own Playboy empire. At it’s worst women are being forced or coerced into doing it so some skeezy people can make money so OnlyFans is def a slippery slope.

I don’t agree with everyone in the show calling Cassie a sex worker bc she had an OnlyFans page. She wasn’t making porn, she was doing solo videos. To me, porn has to be at least 2 people engaging in sexual conduct. You wouldn’t call someone posing for Playboy a sex worker. Id say the worst part of OnlyFans is the messaging culture, pretending like you’re in a relationship with subscribers. And now you have companies that will respond to messages so most of the time the subscribers aren’t even talking to the person they are paying. But to some people, they are paying for the illusion so they don’t care. Some of those themed shoots Cassie does at the request of clients are just fucked. Influencer culture can be pretty dangerous considering what they expect from any woman they meet. A lot of these guys think just bc 1 beautiful women had sex with them, they all want to and that can lead to consent being assumed/ignored and crimes committed against women.

I was seriously concerned that was going to happen to Cassie but she was able to walk the razor’s edge in her first encounter that actually worked and allowed her to start making serious money. I was thinking Nate might go off the deep end against these influencer guys but he had bigger problems. Cassie getting a chance to be an actress was a really cool scene for me. During her audition, Cassie performs Shakespeare to try and impress them. I just wrote a book called ‘LaJiulia’ where the main character wants to attend a school like Juilliard and has to perform Shakespeare in multiple auditions so it was pretty cool to get to see what it might look like on screen. Annoyed me that they were interested and impressed with her until they heard she had an OnlyFans page but man I knew it was gonna be a disaster when she decided to delete it. Not only could she not help Nate anymore but I knew as soon as she hit the delete button that role would be gone and she could not get her account back.

Cassie def caught some collateral damage from Nate but I felt like she was being pretty unreasonable at first. Nate was in big trouble due to no fault of his own but all she cared about was the stupid flowers. I did feel bad seeing her wedding reception get ruined and getting a broken nose on her wedding night. Seeing her bound and gagged by the Russians pissed me off so much I wanted them to get what they had coming. If Nate was a normal, good guy then I would’ve wanted to see Cassie support Nate instead of blaming him but he was a piece of shit so I get it. Maddy could’ve left Cassie to drown but instead she threw her another life preserver and helped her build up her numbers again. But this time there was no walking the razor’s edge, she just straight up fucked the guy and got the momentum back for her page. I wonder if it was intentional that Cassie didn’t actually cheat on Nate until he was dead. Cassie didn’t know Nate was dead when she fucked that influencer guy but the audience did. To try and help Nate, Cassie appeals to Maddy who turns to Alamo and almost puts herself in a living hell of being Alamo’s baby mama.

Cassie is there when Alamo confronts the Russians and kills the main guy. They dig up the coffin and it opens to reveal Nate is dead. That breakfast between Cassie and Maddy was so sad, they both felt real emotions over Nate’s death but didn’t want to react and ended up comforting each other. Cassie and Maddy had a real friendship so it’s a tragedy that a piece of shit like Nate changed their connection for the worse. It’s a miracle that they were able to hold onto that friendship and continue it. Cassie ends up turning their mansion into an OnlyFans content house where she and Maddy’s clients can create content in a safe environment. All things considered, that’s not such a bad ending. I’d like to think that eventually Cassie gets another shot at acting and this time gets to see it through and realize her dreams. It’s a shame that Sydney Sweeney has leaned over to the MAGA side bc they will never see her for anything but a sex object. They will never appreciate her acting skills. She is a legitimately great actress and I always look forward to seeing her in a movie. When I think of Cassie the character, my first thought will always be that abortion scene and the incredible acting it took to bring it to life.

NATE

Holy shit did I hate this character lol at the end of season 1 I wanted him fucking dead. The way that he terrorized and gaslighted Tyler, the guy Maddy hooked up with at the party, just fcking enraged me that he was getting away with it. Tyler did nothing wrong, Maddy came onto him and initiated everything they did. The beating was so fucked up but even worse was forcing Tyler to confess to choking Maddy. Nate in S1/2 is one of the worst, most irredeemable characters I’ve ever watched. S3 Nate was completely different and I actually got mad that they made me almost want to root for him. Finding sex tapes of your Dad with other men at age 11 would fuck anyone up for sure but that doesn’t excuse all his other behaviour. Just get some therapy, man.

Considering what he saw his Father doing, it’s not a shock that he would develop the same interests as we see when he starts talking to Jules as ShyGuy118. I was concerned for Jules knowing how things started with Nate, falling off her bike bc he catcalled her and then cutting herself and wiping it on him during their fight at the party. Nate always watches his Dad’s tapes and realizes the newest tape is with Jules. At the carnival, Nate being a piece of shit talking about how Maddy dresses like a whore and ends up choking her to the point she almost passes out. Then he doubles down by revealing that he is ShyGuy to Jules and threatens to release the nude photos sent to him saying Jules would be a sex offender if it escalated to the police getting involved.

The bruises from being choked are impossible for Maddy to hide and the police get involved which is where we see Nate break into Tyler’s apartment and gaslight him into confessing to choking Maddy at the carnival. Fck I was so mad. Fezco is friends with Jules and finds out Nate is harassing her so Fez confronts him when Nate comes into his convenience store and threatens him to stop fucking with Jules and Rue or he will kill him. Nate laughs it off, insults Fez and calls the police on him after he leaves which causes Fezco’s place to get raided. At the end of S1, Rue has had enough and confronts Nate in the parking lot telling him she knows about Cal’s tapes and that if Nate doesn’t leave them all alone, she will go to the police. Nate tries to fuck with Rue playing more psychological games saying Jules will eventually move on and forget about her also threatening to destroy her family if she tells the police. Crazy scene at Nate’s house where he has a physical confrontation with Cal where he ends up pinned to the ground and then starts to have a serious tantrum, screaming and thrashing his body and limbs around. As much as I hated the character, fck can Jacob Elordi act bc not everyone could 10/10 a scene like that. But as I said at the start, by this point I wanted his character dead.

S2 starts with Nate and Cassie hooking up and I was like man this fcking chode does not deserve her. They have sex in the bathroom at a party but Maddy knocks on the door and of course Nate gets away leaving Cassie to deal with the consequences. But consequences were about to find Nate as he runs into Fezco while he is getting a drink. Nate is being a dick as usual but it looks like they might bury the hatchet until Fez smashes a glass bottle over his head and beats the absolute shit out of him. It was weird, as much as I wanted Nate dead, that beating almost made me feel empathy for him. Then you remember everything he did and it’s like ok actually that’s cool lol despite the beating, Nate never tries to get revenge on Fezco which shocked the hell out of me. But I guess it makes sense, Nate always targets people weaker than him that can’t defend themselves so when he runs into someone that gives it back twice as hard, he turtles. Cal visits Nate in the hospital demanding to know who did this so they can hold them accountable but Nate lies and doesn’t reveal that people know about Cal’s sex tapes.

After Nate recovers, we get the single most fucked up scene I have ever watched on a TV show. Cal comes home drunk, whips out his dick and starts pissing in a circle around their front entrance of their family home. Nate, his brother Aaron and his Mom Marsha all come out to see this and start asking him wtf he is doing. Cal starts to confess all his dirty deeds but the peak of the fucked up scene is when Aaron is pleading with Cal to stop and asking why he is saying these things and Cal responds, “Do you know how many men I’ve fucked?” I wanted to laugh bc I love unintentional comedy and that response could be hilarious but in the context, I couldn’t laugh. Outside this scene we don’t see much of Aaron so it was easy to empathize with him. If you put yourself in his shoes, this scene would be devastating and cause some serious trauma. So yeah I can’t laugh at it but Nate couldn’t have cared less. He saw this as a victory over Cal, winning the war that had been going on in their home since Nate was 11. Right before Cal leaves, he tells Nate that he is his biggest regret in life. Like I said, most fucked up scene I have ever seen.

The next morning Nate is actually in a good mood and for the first time in the show, almost seems happy. His conversation with his Mom started good but even she said some fucked up things to him. It was things like this that started to wear me down leading up to the end of S2, even a scene that starts good turns into something fucked up. And then we get more just straight chaos. Absolutely insane scene where Nate breaks into Maddy’s bedroom with a gun, climbs on top of her, puts the gun to his head with 1 bullet in it and starts pulling the trigger. He does it twice I think before Maddy finally has enough and gives him the tape of Cal and Jules. Just pure insanity man Nate was such a toxic scumbag I was happy that Maddy was done with him after this. Nate gives the tape to Jules saying he is done blackmailing her and she can do what she wants with it. Also adds that his time talking to her as ShyGuy was his only moments of true emotion and honesty. Whatever man I wouldn’t trust this guy if he said the sky was blue lol

The argument Nate and Cassie have before Lexi’s play shows this relationship bringing the worst out of Cassie. Fck man she is just freaking out, losing her shit and Nate is trying to keep her calm but also saying shit to set her off like if she keeps acting crazy he will end things. She gave up a lot to be with him and he couldn’t care less. That’s why purely physical attraction is so dangerous. Cassie is so infatuated with Nate’s looks that she will let him treat her like garbage. The idea that if he could just change to be a good man, she would have it all so she stays hoping that will happen but it rarely does. The polarity of his words and actions would drive anyone insane, I wasn’t even in the show and it was for me haha when they finally get to Lexi’s play, it confronts him with all his toxic bullshit so he takes it out on Cassie by breaking up with her and leaves.

Nate finds Cal at a warehouse where he has been staying with some “friends” and pulls out a gun as well as a USB with all Cal’s sex tapes on them. He reveals that he found them when he was 11 and that it seriously fucked him up. A line that stuck with me, “I spent my whole life trying to protect you. And instead of loving me, you fucking hated me for it.” Almost felt empathy for Nate there…almost lol Cal tries to apologize but Nate isn’t having it. Nate says he has informed the cops about Cal and that they are here to arrest him. He wasn’t bluffing, the cops come in to arrest Cal and that’s where Nate’s S2 story ends. Couldn’t believe he actually turned Cal in but he def had it coming. They both did. S3 see’s Nate and Cassie not only back together but about to get married. Gluttons for punishment I guess haha Nate has taken over Cal’s real estate business and is on the cusp of a deal that will deliver the life he and Cassie want but there is one big hurdle, rare flowers were found on the property he wants to develop so the wait for a special permit is eating away at his money.

Of course this fcking guy drives a Cybertruck lol Cal eventually tracks Nate down and tries to rationalize his behaviour but Nate shuts him down. It was sad bc I watched this after Eric Dane passed away from ALS and you can hear how it was affecting him in S3. Nate is now 1 million dollars in debt due to the delays in the project with 550k owed to a Russian loan shark and his other investors starting to lose faith in him and the project. He is desperate so he arranges a final meeting with the permit board to try and secure the permits he needs. But this isn’t high school and his usual tactics of manipulation do not work on them. Despite his pleas, they deny his permits and Nate loses it dropping to his knees crying and screaming, “I’m trying to do a good thing!!!” Holy shit man just incredible acting from Jacob Elordi. I hated this character but S3 Nate is nothing like the first 2 seasons so as the season went on, it was hard to not start hoping good things will happen for him. And it did seem like he wanted to do a good thing with this Retirement Community project.

Nate and Cassie are planning their wedding and Cassie could not care less about any of Nate’s problems, she just wants this flower arrangement for their wedding that will cost 50k. As I said, you start to almost empathize with Nate bc he is dealing with serious stress with no support from his fiancé who wants to spend an insane amount of money on flowers when his project is bleeding money and people are soon going to start coming for their investment. But then you remember it’s Nate Jacobs so fck that guy haha The wedding happens and it’s a happy night for all until the Russian mobster Naz shows up asking Nate how he can afford such an extravagant wedding when he owes him 550k. Nate tries to make Naz feel secure that the money will be paid back to him soon but Naz is fed up and is ready to escalate things. Later that night, Naz’s thugs crash their wedding night breaking Cassie’s nose in the process. They beat up Nate who doesn’t try to fight back, just tries to run but they hold him down and cut off his pinky toe. Fck man that’s why you don’t get into debt with the wrong people.

This is where I started to lose my suspension of disbelief for Nate’s story bc the torture of Nate doesn’t stop. Cassie moves into Maddy’s influencer house to focus on building momentum for her OnlyFans. AT first Nate was not having it but when he realizes the money she could bring in, he changes his tune and encourages her to get it going bc it might be his only chance to save himself and the project. Despite Cassie sending him 30k, it doesn’t help bc with interest his debt to Naz is approaching 1 million. Naz sends his thugs to re-sever his pinky toe and they also cut off his finger. At this point, despite not being a fan of Nate, this was getting hard to watch. And it didn’t make sense. If Naz wants his money back, torturing Nate is not gonna help. The pinky toe was enough to make Nate realize, he needs to figure this shit out asap. But it’s like the next day that Naz sends his thug to attack Nate, there is no way he could have got the money together that fast. It would’ve mad more sense for Naz to help fix Nate’s permit problem for an increased stake in the project, wouldn’t have been good for Nate in the long run but would’ve made things right with Naz.

Nate is at his breaking point so he drives to the project where the protected flowers are and stomps the shit out of them while screaming that they are faggots lol this show is so fucked. Watching Nate do this is Naz’s thug, who then attacks him yet again but this time they put Nate in a coffin and bury it at the site. This was so stupid, Naz has no chance of getting his money back now and gave Nate literally no time to come up with it. And no matter how much of a toxic piece of shit Nate was in the first 2 seasons, he did not deserve to be buried alive like that. There is. An air hole so Nate is screaming and kicking the coffin trying to get anyone’s attention but it doesn’t work. It does attract a rattlesnake that ends up crawling down the air hole into the coffin lol come on this was way too much. The snake gets down and Nate’s hands are tied so he can’t even defend himself. The snake eventually crawls towards Nate and strikes. After Maddy recruits Alamo to help and he kills Naz, they dig up Nate but it is too late bc he has been killed by the snake bite. Not the ending I was expecting for Nate that’s for sure.

After S1 I wanted Nate dead but this was another level. As I said earlier, S3 Nate was nothing like the character we saw in the first 2 seasons so I was actually hoping to see him fight back against Naz and his thugs. But it never came and I guess that part makes sense. In high school he was able to gaslight, intimidate and manipulate anyone he had issues with to get what he wanted. But in the real world, he doesn’t have that kind of power and when faced with someone like him, he folded. That’s usually how it works for bullies. Nate Jacobs will go down for me as one of the most polarizing characters I’ve ever watched. There were times I hated his guts but then there were times near the end where I empathized with him and almost wanted to root for him. Seems crazy to say given his behaviour in the first 2 seasons. S3 ends almost immediately after so we don’t see any investigation or anything but I can’t imagine his family will just accept his fate. I don’t know how they cover for that kind of death.

A life married to Nate would prob not have gone well so maybe a blessing in disguise for Cassie altho hard to say that considering what she went through and saw. As much as I dislike Nate as a character, I gained a ton of respect for Jacob Elordi as an actor bc he pulled off some incredible scenes with serious emotion. Looking at his filmography, the guy isn’t just coasting on Nate type roles he is challenging himself with all kinds of different characters and building a really impressive resume. Def looking forward to his next movie The Dog Stars. 1 good thing about Nate is it put Jacob Elordi on the map so hopefully we are blessed with a lifetime of interesting characters that make you feel all different kinds of emotions.

JULES

When I started watching this show, I had no idea there was a trans character so it was a big shock to learn that about Jules at the end of E1. In the end I think Jules is a great example of a trans character bc it shows that being trans doesn’t hurt anyone. Jules was def not perfect but even when she got really mad at Nate, she cut herself and didn’t hurt him. I have to be completely honest, I don’t agree with people being trans so I can’t say that I support them. But I also don’t support terrorizing them, or harassing them, or denying them services or medical treatments. And I definitely don’t support fucking losers like Enes Canter who is desperately trying to cling on to relevance by harassing the WNBA and its players. \You can disagree with someone and still love them. I believe being trans goes against the Commandment, Thou shalt not have any other God’s before Me bc if God made you male, and you say no I’m not, I’m female then you are essentially making yourself a God. But even if I’m right, God still loves the person that became trans and wants the best for them.

I have had many patients that are trans and I treated them exactly the same as everyone else and gave them the best treatment I possibly could. I am blessed in my job bc there are no male or female muscles, everyone has the same muscles so I can treat everyone the same. I don’t agree with all the anger, hate and vitriol that ppl have for trans ppl and would defend anyone I saw being subjected to that. My strongest opinion on it is that humans are not mature enough to change their bodies with surgeries or drugs until they are an adult. So I do not believe that “trans kids” should be a thing. If someone wants to dress like the opposite gender then who cares but I don’t believe that surgeries or drugs should be available to anyone that isn’t an adult. Once you become an adult, if you still want to do it then that’s up to them. Someone being trans does not hurt me or take money away from me or make my life worse so if that’s what someone chooses to do, I won’t try to stop it. Once a person matures, if they realize they don’t actually want to be the opposite gender then they can stop it. If they have surgeries or drugs then it is not reversible.

I also don’t like that a male can put on a dress and makeup and then go into a Women’s bathroom. A predator wouldn’t think twice about doing that to gain access to vulnerable women and children. So I think there should be rules that you can only enter the opposite genders bathroom if you have taken significant steps to become the opposite gender. I don’t agree with it but being trans doesn’t hurt people so I don’t have a problem with them having that opportunity. As I said, just bc you don’t agree or support someone’s choices, doesn’t mean you can’t still love them and be kind to them.

Honestly my biggest problem with Jules is that her entire life revolves around sex. 1st scene of the show is Jules having sex with Cal and then she is on these fetish sites looking for someone to fuck. When she texts with Nate as ShyGuy, it’s all about sex. In S3 I was excited to see her into art but then all she does is paint dicks and sexual imagery lol never mind the fucked up shit this guy is having her do like wrapping her in plastic. It was hard to have respect for Jules when her only interest in life was finding someone to fuck.

1st episode is a crazy ride as we see Jules have sex with an adult, be harassed by Nate and then cut her arm at the party wiping the blood on Nate. It ends with her and Rue lying in bed together as we learn that Jules is trans. Not at all the kind of story I expected when I started watching. Jules starts texting and sending explicit photos to ShyGuy118 who we know is Nate and they seem to have genuine feelings for each other which is so fucked up considering she fucked his Dad. What a show man lol the carnival is a doozy for Jules as she not only realizes that Cal is Nate’s Dad but Nate also reveals that he is ShyGuy. Nate threatens Jules with revealing the nude photo’s she sent him unless she keeps absolute secrecy about having sex with Cal and acts as a witness in framing Tyler for choking Maddy. I was so disgusted about Tyler being framed I really wasn’t worried about what happened to Jules after that. I understand Jules was being blackmailed by Nate but if she told everything she knows, nobody would’ve cared about the photos.

Jules connection with Rue started as friendship but it seems Rue wants more and is using Jules as the only reason she wants to get sober which puts a lot of pressure on Jules. I’ve read scenes described as Jules cheating on Rue but I don’t know, I never got the sense that they were in an official relationship. They share kisses and snuggles but it always seemed like their relationship was stuck on the last step before it became official. Jules is there to comfort Rue as she comes down from the Fentanyl hit that Mouse forced her to take at Fezco’s. All the responsibility of helping Rue stay sober is wearing on Jules and she gets drunk at the Halloween party even jumping off the balcony into the pool. Jules goes to her old city to party with a friend named Shy who introduces her to Anna and Jules develops an immediate connection with her. They take ecstasy in a club and are being very sexual with each other as Rue bombards Jules with text messages asking where she is and when she is coming back. Anna is talking about non-monogamy and viewing romantic connections without restrictive boundaries which Jules is definitely agreeing with. 

When Jules gets back, she attends the Winter Formal with Rue where she lets Nate know that he has no control over her anymore. Jules and Rue dance together but Jules feelings have changed and she is more interested in a connection with Anna. Jules asks Rue to run away with her to New York and Rue initially agrees but panics at the last moment and decides not to go. But Jules leaves anyway leaving a hurt Rue behind. If you haven’t dealt with someone going through addiction, you don’t know the toll it can take on you trying to help them, especially when you have your own issues you are struggling to deal with. I def empathized with Jules here and understood why she wanted the free spirit like connection with Anna compared to the almost parental connection helping Rue with her addiction. Jules is back to start S2 showing up at Lexi’s NYE party and kisses Rue. She meets Elliot who has developed a friendship with Rue over drugs but Jules doesn’t know that and hits it off with Elliot. Jules is initially jealous but ends up being attracted to Elliot and having a lot of fun with him without Rue.

I love the scene where Jules, Rue and Elliot are asking each other questions like if Elliot is gay or straight or bi. Fn funny when Jules tells Elliot what her sex number is and Elliot is just floored, “That’s fucked up. That’s like a mentally ill amount of people to fuck.” Lol While driving around drinking, Jules expresses concern that Rue, who is supposed to be sober, is drinking alcohol. Rue gets pissed off calling Jules a hypocrite and demands to be let out of the car. During some intimate time with Elliot, he tells Jules that Rue has relapsed so they organize an intervention with the help of Rue’s Mom. This is a disaster as they destroy a suitcase full of drugs that Rue had fronted to her to sell. Realizing the suitcase is gone, Rue absolutely loses her shit and unleashes pure vitriol onto Jules. Man I really felt for Jules in this scene bc the things Rue was saying were brutal. Safe to say their relationship was never the same after this and Rue said she wanted nothing to do with Jules ever again. Jules finally gets some good news as she meets with Nate who hands over the disc of her and Cal, ending any exploitation he has over her. Nate also says their connection was real and being ShyGuy was the most honest and emotional he had ever felt. Whatever man just get the fuck outta there lol after destroying the disc, Jules can move forward without having to look over her shoulder.

Jules watches Lexi’s play which couldn’t have been easy as it puts her life on public display. After the play ends, Jules catches Rue alone telling her she loves and misses her. Rue kisses her on the forehead and walks away. It was def sad to see their connection end like that bc they had so much fun and joy together at first. There is not much to Jules S3 story. It starts with her dropping out of art school bc “sugaring” or working for men for sexual pleasure is more lucrative. Jules is hired by a guy that does some fucked up shit to her like wrapping her in plastic with just enough of an opening to breathe. It is frightening to think of what happens around the world behind closed doors and what money will cause ppl to consent to be done to them. Jules attends Nate and Cassie’s wedding as Rue’s plus one and actually has pleasant conversations with both Nate and Cal. Lexi hires Jules to paint promotional art for the soap opera Lexi works for but it doesn’t go well as the painting is revealed to have a bunch of dicks painted all over it. This annoyed me so much like what did Jules think would happen. Jules is smart enough to figure out what would be appropriate for this but just did whatever she wanted, not even thinking about how it would make Lexi look. Obviously the show runners are not going to want a painting like that. When asked to make changes to the painting, Jules just destroys it.

Rue visits Jules at the penthouse she lives at, which is paid for by one of her sugaring clients, and criticizes this lifestyle but Jules is very defensive. During their last visit, Rue is more forceful with her criticism asking Jules if this is really the life she wants. As they argue, Rue gets very harsh, “You’re just a little toy that he keeps locked in a little room. ‘Don’t go anywhere, don’t see anyone. Just stay there and paint until I come back to fuck you.’” Jules has had enough and slap Rue so hard she falls off her chair and knocks over the painting. Jules tells her to leave and that is the last interaction they would ever have as Rue would soon be murdered by Alamo. So sad that this is the last time they ever see each other and that Jules won’t know that Rue didn’t actually overdose but was murdered. Before S3 ends, we see Jules has painted a picture of Rue but honestly it’s awful. Reading after watching, I guess it was supposed to be Rue drowning but it looks more like she is in hell. Sucks to see their connection end like this.

That was it for Jules in S3, really felt like a wasted season for her. Didn’t really add much to her story, just the same old Jules looking for someone to fuck. But overall I feel like Jules was an important character, to show that trans people are not this evil group looking to bring harm to everyone. They just want to live their life as they see fit. I don’t agree with it but I won’t treat them any different than anyone else. Jules shows that trans people are not a danger to anyone but themselves, if that. Wild ride watching this character but I’m glad I did. Hunter Schaeffer delivered a great performance that will stand the test of time.

LEXI

In a show as chaotic as this, Lexi was initially 1 of my fav characters bc she was not involved in all the drama with their friends so it was a nice break from all that when she was on screen. But then at the end of S2, she was the source of extreme chaos with her play so it all balances out I guess haha Lexi has been best friends with Rue since childhood and helps her avoid drug tests by providing her with clean urine. Later in the season, Lexi visits Rue in her bedroom where she has been depressed watching TV non stop. Lexi tries to ask about Rue not returning her texts and inquires about Jules but this sets Rue off. Rue says some harsh shit to Lexi like that she doesn’t really care about anything that happens in Lexi’s life and only talks to her when she needs something like clean urine. Lexi is hurt but doesn’t fight back and just leaves. Sad to see what drugs will make you do and say to the people you love.

This doesn’t help Lexi’s emotional state as she has always struggled with Cassie getting all the attention and concern while she is left feeling like she is taken for granted as the self-sufficient “easy child.” It was easy to empathize with Lexi esp at first. I guess I actually treated her like that too, she was like my life preserver in the ocean of chaos this show delivers. Absolutely loved the Bob Ross halloween costume lol despite her feelings about the attention Cassie receives, she was still there for her no questions asked when Cassie got an abortion. After S1, Lexi stood out as the most stable member of the whole crew and a good person.

Can’t lie, I was really nervous about where her story would go when she started connecting with Fez at the party to start S2. Their worlds were just so opposite, Lexi lived by the rules and had a fairly normal existence. Fez was a drug dealer so he was always living on the edge and having to deal with some truly bad people and situations. I felt genuine concern at what Lexi’s life would look like if their connection went further. Fez gives her a taste of that when he beats Nate within an inch of his life. I thought that would be the end but Lexi saw what most of the audience prob did too, that Fez was actually a good guy and an exception to the lifestyle he lived. Lexi shows up at Fezco’s convenience store frequently to talk with him about life, her ideas and even to warn him that Nate’s Dad, Cal is gunning for him. They watch ‘Stand By Me’, one of the great classic movies of our time and really enjoy their time together.

You could tell they were moving towards an official relationship so I was really hoping it would be her bringing him into her lifestyle rather than the other way around. Lexi is tired of being a bystander so she writes a play about the real lives of her and everyone she knows. She gets cold feet about doing the play bc of what everyone might think but Fez gives Lexi honesty saying that she could be crossing a line but also encouraging her to follow through with it.

FEZCO: But why would anyone be upset by it?
LEXI: Oh, you know, it’s, it’s based on real people.
FEZCO: Yeah, you really strokin’ the bee’s nest with that one.
LEXI: Am I?
FEZCO: I mean… if someone invited me to a play, and… they didn’t even tell me I was a character in it? I’d definitely have some questions.
LEXI: Like, bad questions?
FEZCO: Depends on the play.
LEXI: Well, would you be upset by it?
FEZCO: It depends on the play.
LEXI: Right.
FEZCO: And the intentions of the person who made the play.
LEXI:My intentions are good.
FEZCO: Then you ain’t got nothin’ to worry about.
LEXI: But… what if they think my intentions aren’t good when in reality they are good?
FEZCO: Well, that’s what I call a quandary.

lol He says he will be front row with flowers on opening night which gives her the confidence to move forward with the play. By this point my fears about Lexi being in a relationship with Fez were gone as you could see that he had her best interests at heart and wouldn’t want her anywhere near the dangerous situations he could find himself in. But that play was insanity lol I thought it was pretty fucked up to write a play about the real lives of her family and friends with no consent from them. Like Fezco, I admit I would not be happy if I saw my life play out in a play for everyone I knew to laugh at and react to. Lexi did not hold anything back, that play was as close to real life as it gets.

The play does not see favourable reactions from the people involved, esp Cassie who gets on stage to interrupt the play and berate Lexi but is stopped when Maddy attacks her and chases her all over the stage. The chaos of this play was almost the last straw for me watching the show but was also why Elliot’s Song hit me so hard so I learned to appreciate it. The play really is a great accomplishment for Lexi to not only show off her talents but to step out of the shadows of her friends and into the spotlight. Her speech at the opening of the play really highlights it:

“For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this feeling that I’m living life, but I’m not really living it. I’m just watching it happen. I’m sitting in the back of the room, taking notes, watching everyone else live their lives while mine just kind of… happens to me.

And I think for a long time, I was okay with that. Because when you’re watching, you don’t get hurt. You don’t make mistakes. You don’t have to risk anything.

But eventually, you start to realize that if you spend your whole life just watching, you never actually live. So, I wrote a play. About me. About my life. About all of us. Because maybe if I can put it all up here, I can finally make sense of it.”

Great speech that I’m sure a lot of fans can relate to, I def can in my own way. As chaotic as the play was, I was def rooting for Lexi to come out of this as a new version of herself that would live like the main character in her story. After Cassie/Maddy brawl, her friends encourage Lexi to finish the play so Lexi makes a speech to the audience letting them know the brawl was not part of the show but she made the play to honour the people in her life so the play would continue dedicated to Rue. Unfortunately Fez never shows up as Lexi continues to look for him and wait for a text that never comes. The audience knows that Fez has been raided and is going to jail for a long time but Lexi doesn’t so it’s sad to see her think Fez just isn’t showing up.

S3 starts with Lexi living her dreams as a production assistant for a soap opera called LA Nights. A successful run as a PA will give her the experience she needs to eventually be the show runner on a project but it’s still a long way to go. When they ask Lexi to find someone to paint a promotional painting for the show, she hires Jules but it doesn’t go well after Jules painting is revealed to have dicks all over it. This causes Lexi to take all the heat for delaying production and they warn her not to be a net negative on the show. The negative impact on Lexi’s career is why it pissed me off so much that Jules did this, just no concern at all for how it would affect Lexi. Lexi def tried to be loyal to her family and friends by giving them opportunity and does again when a role opens up and Lexi sets it up so Cassie can audition. Cassie has a great audition and wins the role with everyone on the set gushing over her leaving Lexi to once again feel like she is in the shadows. But it does give Lexi a promotion to Writer’s Assistant meaning she will get a chance to write entire episodes for LA Nights. Sucks that it comes bc of Cassie but it is legitimately a huge break for Lexi.

Eventually Lexi has to inform the show runner that Cassie has an OnlyFans page which immediately changes the way the people running the show view Cassie. Now they see her as a sex worker and a liability so they inform Lexi that Cassie is no longer being considered for a role. Didn’t think that was fair to Cassie but was def concerned that this would be trouble for Lexi’s career bc Cassie is now the 2nd person Lexi recommended that did not work out. Lexi is working hard to try and write some good scripts while Rue lounges on her couch and bounces some ideas and dialogue off her to get a real reaction. Rue has started to read the Bible and has some interesting thoughts about that which causes Lexi to get frustrated with her and accuse her of using again. Thought that was really unfair and that Lexi would have had more discretion than that. Rue opens up about everything she is dealing with like working with the DEA and as a drug mule. Lexi doesn’t believe her and even says she understands why Rue’s Mom doesn’t talk to her. So fucked up and so out of character for her. Rue is understandably hurt and leaves but Lexi doesn’t seem to care.

Lexi talks to Maddy about Rue working with the DEA like it’s a drug delusion and like come on Lexi is not stupid enough to think there is no truth to what Rue is saying. She would be smart enough to know that isn’t information she should be spreading even if it wasn’t true. She also would have shown more compassion, just another case of characters doing this out of character for them in S3. Lexi is another reason why Rue’s murder hurts so much, she is gonna think Rue overdosed and all the judgments that come with that. Fuck Alamo. Cassie offers Lexi a chance to be a part of the influencer house project she is doing with Maddy but Lexi declines which I was happy to see bc she didn’t fit in that world. She was right where she needed to be. When Rue left for the last time, she forgot her Bible so Lexi decides to read it and hopefully find answers to the questions she has. Honestly as a Christian I loved the Bible being part of the show and the journey for characters to be the best version of themselves. I really enjoyed Maude Apatow’s performance as Lexi, she was vulnerable and shy without seeming too weak. Then we finally get to see her strength when she puts on the play and then in S3 grinding to achieve her dreams. I think with the Bible combined with the talent Lexi has, she will end up a successful show runner for a hit TV show or 2 or 3 or 4 lol

FEZCO

Well I guess I need to start this by saying RIP Angus Cloud 🙏 that is so fn sad man I had no idea he passed away until I finished S3 and started looking up discussion about the show. I thought his S3 absence was strange but Kat was also absent from S3 so I didn’t think much of it. Just figured that they wrote his character out of the show in S2 with the raid. Losing Angus in real life to overdose makes losing Rue in the show hit that much harder esp the scene of Rue’s dream/afterlife where Fez and her are sharing a joyful, peaceful moment together as best friends. I’m sure S3 would’ve played out much different if he hadn’t passed away but he was def missed watching it.

As I was watching the show, I realized I hated almost all of the characters haha but Fez was one of the few exceptions. You could tell that despite being involved in drugs, he was a good guy that tried to do things the right way and treat people with respect. Considering his backstory, it’s crazy he ended up like that. His grandmother Marie talks about his Mother in the past tense so I assume she is dead and his Father abused him so Marie kills his Father and becomes his guardian. Marie takes another woman’s baby as collateral for a drug deal but the Mother never comes back so they raise him as Fez’s brother. During a drug dispute, Fez watches Marie beat a man with a crowbar and his good heart causes him to jump in to get her to stop but she accidentally hits him with a crowbar causing a traumatic brain injury. This is the explanation for Fezco’s slow, deliberate speech pattern and calm demeanour. Could’ve easily grown up an angry, erratic psychopath.

Kids trying to act like big tough guys are a pet peeve of mine so I was really annoyed with Ashtray at times but at first I was too busy reacting to Rue’s stupidity to worry about him. Fuck man the scene where Fez is trying to get Rue to leave bc a dangerous gangster named Mouse is coming and she refuses acting like it’s all a big joke..I could have thrown her out myself lol but I was reacting not only for Rue’s safety but Fez and Ashtray’s. Dealing with Mouse was already gonna be hard enough by themselves never mind with an attractive female drug addict that Mouse is definitely going to pay attention to. I was empathizing with Fez 100% here and when she didn’t leave, thought this was gonna end really bad. It almost did with Mouse expressing interest in her, thankfully didn’t assault her but he did force her to take Fentanyl. This is exactly what Fez was worried about. Mouse eventually leaves and Fez tries to help her as best he can endure her Fentanyl high. Rue’s plot armour the only thing that saved her.

Fez has had enough of Rue when she is an addict and won’t sell her anymore drugs. Rue shows up to Fez’s place begging him to front or sell her some drugs but he refuses saying he cares about her like a sister. Rue loses her shit banging on the door and walls while screaming insults about him but he won’t budge. Would’ve been so easy for Fez to sell to Rue but this scene shows he was a good guy and truly cared about Rue. She is so lucky she had a friend like Fezco. At the convenience store, Fez tells Nate to leave Rue and Jules alone but Nate gives him no respect and starts talking shit so Fez tells him he will kill Nate if he keeps fucking with his friends. Nate responds by ratting on Fez to the police who raid his apartment. Fez avoids trouble by managing to flush their entire stash just in time but that means they are now in big trouble with Mouse who is gonna be expecting his money. He is desperate so Fez and Ashtray decide to rob a rich Doctor but things do not go smoothly. The Doctor is home so Fez has to pull a gun on him and demand he open the safe. Unfortunately the Doctor’s young son walks in the room which rattles Fez knowing he was that boy at one time. The Doctor see’s this as a chance to turn the tables so he tries to tackle Fez but Fez wins the battle and starts beating the shit out of him as his son is absolutely terrified. Fez grabs as much pills and cash that he can find and then leaves. As he gets back into the car with Ashtray in the drivers seat, Fez is disgusted with himself for using violence in front of a child, potentially traumatizing the Doctor’s son like he was. Everything is barely enough for Fez to pay Mouse but the reality of what he did will stay with him. At least he doesn’t owe Mouse bc that would’ve been the end of him.

S2 starts chaotic for Fez as he hands over the money he owes to Mouse but Mouse see’s blood on some of the bills and realizes Fez got the money from a robbery. Mouse starts getting confrontational saying that he knows Fez lied about why he flushed his stash, where he got the money from and that this apartment is a heat magnet for cops. Fez is trying to reason with Mouse and keep him calm but Mouse stands up and reaches for his waistband. Ashtray see’s this from around a corner and knows if Mouse pulls a gun he is gonna use it so he sprints into the room with a claw hammer and hits Mouse in the head with it instantly killing him. He turns to Custer the guy Mouse came with and breaks his nose. Fez can’t believe what just happened, “What the fuck, bro?!”, but quickly takes control of the situation. Fez forces Custer to help him wrap Mouse’s body in plastic and get it into the trunk of their car. They drive the body to the countryside and dispose of it.

Fez knows he can’t wait to deal with Laurie, the person who supplies Mouse his product, so Fez, Ashtray, Custer, Faye and Rue drive to Laurie’s to try and set up a new connection. Laurie and her crew do not take any chances so they have them all strip naked at gunpoint while Fez tries to protect Rue saying she is just a kid and didn’t need to be brought in but they don’t care and force Rue to strip with them. Fez tells Laurie that Mouse won’t be coming around anymore bc Fez didn’t like the way he did business but assures her that himself and Ashtray can handle the local distribution and pitches to be her new connection. Laurie has been in the game long enough to know Mouse is likely dead so she doesn’t question it and agrees to start working with Fez as the new supplier. Not the person you want to owe anything to but all things considered, this couldn’t have worked out better for Fez. Mouse was a piece of shit and did not respect Fez so it was only a matter of time before he turned on Fez. But after they get to the car, Rue is acting like it was all fun and games with literally no realization of how close she came to being raped and murdered. Fez tries to set her straight,

“Aye, why you actin’ like that shit was fun, Rue? For real. You’re pissin’ me off. Actin’ dumb as fck right now. Goddamn, all smilin’ and laughin’ and shit. You know, half of that shit was your fault, too. Fckin’ around, actin’ stupid.”

He is being really generous with saying half bc 99% of that shit was her fault. I thought for sure Rue was gonna get Fez killed by the end of the season. Now with everything secured with Laurie, Fez and Rue head to the NYE party.

At the NYE party with everyone, Fez ends up on the couch talking to Lexi. They lived such polar opposite lives that I was concerned about Lexi being involved in Fez’s life but he never would have put her in a dangerous situation. Altho that life is unpredictable so there would’ve been times where Lexi might have been in danger and Fez couldn’t control it. After exchanging numbers with Lexi, Fez spots Nate and strikes up a conversation. Nate reminds Fez he said he would kill Nate the next time he saw him and Fez responds, “It’s a new year, playboy” and pretends to cheers him like it’s all good but then smashes a glass bottle over his head. On the ground Fez continues to beat Nate until he is finally pulled off him. Nate is beaten so bad he has to go to the hospital but does not try to get revenge. This shocked the hell out of me bc I thought for sure Nate was going to kill Fez after this but he never does. Only Cal wants to go after Fez but Nate won’t confirm it was Fez who beat him. They did not interact again on the show. Didn’t expect that resolution but after that beating, I think Nate had enough of Fezco.

I thought that might be it for Fez and Lexi after she witnessed such brutality from him but she also knows what a scumbag Nate is so it’s hard to say he didn’t have it coming. Fez calls Lexi the next day to check on her after the crazy party and they have a good talk. Lexi works up the courage to visit Fez at his convenience store to tell him Nate’s Dad Cal is gunning for him but also to continue their connection. Fez encourages her writing dreams and says she should be proud of her work. Later back at his place, Rue is there hanging out but when Fez goes to another room to talk to Lexi on the phone, Rue goes into Marie’s bedroom to try and steal some of her pills. Fez catches her in the act and is def hurt but he can’t allow her to stay in his house after that so he take the pills and kicks her out as she pleads to stay. Rue is starting to unravel with her addiction and Fez is concerned.

Cal finally tracks Fez down and brought a gun in a paper bag with him so Ashtray neutralizes Cal by smashing him repeatedly with the shotgun. Cal is trying to make threats but also fishing about Jules and Nate to see how much Fez knows. Fez is in disbelief this entire time esp with how Cal is implying he had sex with Jules and there is a tape of it,

“FEZCO: What kind of weird-ass father-son shit is goin’ on around here, bro?
CAL : I’m extremely confused.
FEZCO: You’re confused. I’m fckin’ confused, bro.
FAYE: Me too.
FEZCO: I don’t even know what the fck you’re doin’ here.”

Lol I thought Fez’s reaction was hilarious. After realizing Fez and Ashtray don’t know anything or have the tape, Cal convinces them to just let him go. Fez was more than happy to be done with that interaction haha after Rue has calmed down she is back at Fezco’s place but this time with an insane plan to fuel her habit and make money at the same time by asking Fez to front her 5k of drugs that she will sell to high school kids. She was such a naive, idiot about this I almost couldn’t handle it. Fezco immediately shuts that shit down, “Hell the fuck no,” bc he understands that the people in the drug game would eat Rue alive.

The way Rue was acting about this was insanely frustrating I’m surprised Fez kept his composure. Just the dumbest thing Rue could possibly do yet she is treating it like a walk in the park. Obviously Fez does not help her with this. Fez continues his connection with Lexi hanging out at his place just having some laughs and talking about life. I think Fez liked Lexi so much bc she was the opposite of his crazy life and gave him a chance to find peace and true happiness.

Lexi comes over to Fez’s place to read her play to him and get his feedback. She is nervous about how people will react but Fez says bluntly, “Some people need to get their feelings hurt. “ He also tells her to use her voice for what she feels is right and he will be front row with flowers on opening night which gives Lexi the confidence boost she needed. They also watch old movies singing along to “Holding Out For a Hero” and watching Stand by Me. Both of them get emotional at the ending and start holding hands in a tender moment. All that was left for them to make things official was to kiss but unfortunately they would never get that moment.

On the night of the play, Fez is dressed to the 9’s in a nice suit with flowers and a hand written note for Lexi. But as he is about to leave, Custer shows up acting casual and sets his phone down on the table. Custer’s girlfriend Faye has been staying at Fez’s place and knows that Custer is working with the police to implicate fez in Mouse’s murder. Fez has treated her good so she tries to help him and drops a glass as Custer is trying to get Fez to talk about Mouse’s murder. Fez looks at Faye who is hidden from Custer’s view by the counter and mouths to Fez that Custer is working with the police. Fez doesn’t panic and tries to keep the conversation calm so the police don’t burst in but Ashtray has been watching this all unfold and figures out Custer is using his phone to record them. So he runs over and stabs Custer in the neck. Fez covers Custer’s mouth to muffle the sounds so police outside won’t pick it up, then grabs the blood-covered knife to put his own fingerprints on it, intending to take the blame for Ashtray. Fez looks devastated knowing that even worse than going to prison, he was letting Lexi down and they would not be able to continue their connection the way they wanted.

Fez tells Ashtray he is taking 100% of the blame but Ashtray is not willing to be taken in without a fight and barricades himself in the bathroom with guns and ammo. SWAT finally enters the apartment and Fez stands outside the bathroom door with his hands up saying there is a child inside the bathroom and begging them not to shoot. Ashtray opens fire from behind the bathroom door as SWAT returns fire. Fez tries to get down but is shot in the stomach. When the shooting stops, a SWAT member enters the bathroom to see Ashtray lying on the floor. But he is faking dead and fires at the officer, killing him. A SWAT sniper gets a shot at Ashtray and takes it, killing him instantly as Fez watches in agony. Cut to Lexi looking out at the empty seat meant for Fez and looking at her phone waiting for a text that would never come. What a fcking insane scene man I had no idea who was gonna survive that. Amazing acting from Angus Cloud as he tries to get Ashtray to surrender and SWAT to stop shooting. This was the last scene for Fezco and as sad as it is, it was a fitting end for a great character.

I wonder what S3 would have looked like for Fez and Lexi if Angus hadn’t passed away. I’d like to think Fez and Lexi were now officially together and this incident was the key to getting Fez out of the drug game. Maybe there was a technicality in the case that meant he got released from prison without a criminal record. This allowed Lexi to find him an opportunity in the film industry where he could use his skills and talents for something legal. Knowing that Angus passed away in real life makes his last scene with Rue hit so much harder. Rue flees her intervention and ends up at Laurie’s but is held there against her will. She barely escapes Laurie’s and goes to Fezco’s to apologize for everything she did and said when she was fiending for a fix. Fez doesn’t hold a grudge, he accepts her apology and assures her he still cares for her and wants nothing but the best for her. Rue leaves with a sense of peace that her bond with her friend is restored. Perfect final scene for these 2 characters together. I guess the scene at the end of the show was from a scene that never got used but it ended up working as a perfect conclusion to Rue’s story.

I have lost a few friends bc of Fentanyl and it doesn’t get easier. It’s an absolute demon of a drug that I wish I could wipe off the face of the earth. Nobody deserves to die like that. RIP Brittany. RIP Brandon. RIP Scotty. Fez was one of the only characters I liked so to learn the actor died was tough. But what a great run he had. He left behind scenes that fans will continue to enjoy for a long time and his final scenes couldn’t have been scripted better. Godspeed buddy 🫡 🙏

ALI

Man what a great character we got in Ali. I first got introduced to Colman Domingo in Fear The Walking Dead and immediately became a fan. It’s not a great show by any stretch but it was fun to watch and you could really see Colman having fun with the character. Ali was def a different kind of character but much needed in this show. Ali was the voice of reason, the foot on the ground that Rue needed. Ali wasn’t defined on the show by crazy scenes, at least until the end haha he was defined by the incredible knowledge of addiction, recovery and life. I always enjoyed his scenes bc the dialogue was so incredible and Colman always delivered it with the highest of quality. Having watched my brother and friends go through addiction, I could listen to Ali talk for hours bc he had so much wisdom but was always kind and compassionate.

We meet Ali in S1 at a NA meeting where he develops a rapport with Rue and they meet for pie. Ali recognizes Rue is not committed to sobriety so he becomes her sponsor to try and offer advice and hold her accountable. Rue isn’t able to bullshit Ali like she does other people bc Ali has seen it all and been through it with multiple addicts. As a former addict himself, he knows what Rue’s addiction is telling her and pleads with her to make a genuine attempt at sobriety or she may end up losing her life. I absolutely loved the special episode btwn S1 and 2 that was just Rue and Ali having a conversation. We learn about Ali’s past and what led him to his addiction. His Father would drink and beat his Mother so Ali used drugs and alcohol to deal with a rough home life. He served time in the military receiving awards from his service. Later became a firefighter, got married and had 2 daughters.

But unfortunately he allowed history to repeat itself and would have volatile and physical arguments with his wife. His daughters were witness to some of these and are now estranged form him. He does not see them or his grandchild. After getting a divorce and losing his job, Ali realized the effect drugs and alcohol have not just on yourself but those around you and began his journey to sobriety. During the special episode, Ali tries to talk to Rue about spirituality but Rue is not willing to hear it. Ali mentioning revolution really inspired my thinking bc when you think about it, Sobriety is a revolution against Drugs and Alcohol, Addiction is the war. Saying that genuine change is not possible if the revolution incorporates spirituality. Jesus is how my brother wins his battles against addiction. That’s why people that roll their eyes at Rue using the Bible to aid her recovery are completely out of touch. Studying the Bible, highlighting favourite verses, that was how my brother renewed his relationship with Jesus and found the greatest weapon against Drugs and Alcohol. He will always fight the war but Jesus Can and will help him win every battle.

But even talking about revolution itself, if you do not have guidelines that are Good then how can you take over a society and make it better. If your revolution has Jesus, then you have the perfect set of guidelines to make your society the best version of itself. No matter what the arena is, revolution can only succeed if it incorporates spirituality is goddamn right. I was happy to see Ali phone his family outside the diner and actually get to connect with them. Having see the worst of his addiction, I get why they shut him out but when someone creates genuine change within them like Ali had, you need to open your arms to them again. The worry of getting hurt again is not worth more than the love of family and friends. At the end of the conversation, Rue says that the world is so ugly she doesn’t know if she wants to be part of it. Ali asks her how she would want her Mom and Sister to remember her and she responds through tears, “to be remembered as someone who tried to be someone she couldn’t be.” Wanted to give Rue a hug here. Ali gives her some encouragement to find her strength he has faith she has and they leave the diner. Fn great stuff.

S2 expands Ali’s role as Rue mentor when he observes her falling asleep in her chair at an NA meeting. Rue is flippant about it but Ali knows she has relapsed so he offers to drive Rue home and asks if he can meet her Mother in person. Ali did not want Rue to become a statistic so he needed to be more connected to her than a normal sponsor. Ali has dinner with Rue and her family but doesn’t lie when Rue’s Mother Leslie asks him how Rue is doing. He answers, “ she has a long way to go” which would be a true statement whether she had relapsed or not. Rue shows up to an NA meeting with a suitcase and Ali knows exactly what is in it but when he questions her, she crosses a line:

RUE: Look, I’m-Man, I’m not tryin’ to hear a f*ckin’ lecture, okay, about how my life would be better if I stopped doing drugs, or believed in God, or allah, or whatever the f*ck.

ALI: Okay, well, you’re the one lookin’ like a Jehovah’s Witness. I just don’t think that there’s, uh, Bibles in that suitcase.

RUE: Shut the fuck up, man.

ALI: Wait, wait, wait. Excuse me? Shut the fuck up? Don’t play that shit with me. I’ve always accepted you for who you are: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Don’t tell me to shut the fuck up. I’m not some parent you can just treat like shit.

RUE: Yeah, well, good thing nobody’s really lookin’ to you to be a f*ckin’ parent.

ALI: Yo! Excuse me? Excuse me? When I sit across from you and tell you somethin’ about my life, you don’t get to use that shit against me. You cross that line again, we’re done. You talk back right now, we’re done. One more fuckin’ disrespectful word outta your mouth, and we’re done. You hear me? Hey! You hear me?!

RUE: Or what, Ali? You gonna hit me?

Fuck that was a tough scene, Ali didn’t deserve that and you knew that wasn’t how Rue truly felt, it was the drugs talking. I was def worried at how Rue would survive everything she was doing without Ali as a mentor. Later in the season Rue is in a bad spot with Laurie and her withdrawal so out of desperation she calls Ali and apologizes for how she treated him and everything she said. She acknowledges that using his personal history against him was so wrong. After a long pause Ali accepts her apology and offers his unconditional forgiveness. I was so happy Rue made things right with Ali and I knew he would accept bc how can he ask for his own forgiveness if he won’t forgive others. Ali comes over to cook dinner and this was the best time they had together. There was a family vibe with lots of smiles and laughter. Ali even starts to mentor Gia who is struggling with watching Rue fight her war of addiction. Ali knows the guilt she is feeling so he offers her permission to get mad at Rue, express her feelings and to withhold trust until Rue earns it. I was excited by the possibility of Ali taking a Fatherly role with both Rue and Gia. Ali attends Lexi’s play with the Rue, Gia and Leslie to end his role in S2. Unfortunately Gia and Leslie were not in S2 so we do not get to see the progression of that storyline which def bummed me out.

Rue is sober in S3 and Ali aims to keep it that way trying to support her as well as hold her accountable. When Rue tells him she is “California sober,” while working at Alamo’s strip club, Ali warns her of the dangers of trying to walk the razor’s edge so close to her addiction and that she is tempting the fate of a relapse. Rue thinks she has everything under control but Ali can see her physical appearance deteriorating and tries to encourage her to leave the drug world behind. We get to see a backstory for Ali where he is cheating on his wife and doing drugs. Back at home, he is at dinner with his wife an daughter when he explodes on his wife and his daughter hears the sounds of Ali beating his wife in the room. It cuts to Ali in a hospital after a heart attack being given morphine but saying he doesn’t want it. We see his journey from addict at a meeting to becoming a sponsor and eventually watching multiple people he was sponsoring die from their addiction. We see him write the names in a book that contains the names of all the addicts Ali has sponsored that have passed away. With everything Ali has gone through, only God could have got him to the man he was in S3.

As the season winds down and Rue is in big trouble trying to deal with Laurie/Nazi’s and Alamo and the DEA not to mention trying to stay sober. Rue confides in Ali who is adamant that she not do any more runs even offering to use his shotgun and stand in front of her to protect her. Rue is worried about the repercussions coming back to hurt Gia, her Mother, Ali or anyone else she cares about so she feels she has to do it. They talk more about The Bible with Rue relating to Moses saying God spoke to her through he Joshua Tree that burned up infant of rue when she crashed on the highway saying, “I heard your cries. I feel your pain. Have faith… and I will take you from Egypt and lead you to the promised land.” Rue thinks it means she is on the cusp on freedom bc if she completes this last run successfully, Laurie/Nazi’s/Alamo all go to prison and she gets the charges against her dropped. After that, she will go to her own personal Promised Land which she believes is the Farm with the Family we saw in E1.

Later they talk about the impacts of Fentanyl and Rue wondering if anyone can be redeemed. Ali says only if they want to be and Rue says putting these guys in prison is a good start but Ali still tries to convince her not to go back. Rue is worried about her Mom so Ali makes a deal that they will pick up her Mom first thing in the morning. Ali tells her that being alive right now is a blessing and adds that Moses never actually made it to the Promised Land. Rue chuckles and says that’s where she differs from Moses and says thanks. Ali says “I got you.” Man I loved their connection. in the morning, Ali finds a post-it not from Rue saying ‘Forgive Me.’ I knew the last run was going to be bad but I never dreamed that it was going to cost Rue her life. The last conversation they have is after Rue is recovering from the injuries she got on the last run, Rue is wondering how people can be so evil. Ali says it’s easier to be evil than good saying human nature is naturally selfish. Rue asks why God made us that way and Ali obviously doesn’t have the answers so he says he’s ask Him one day for her and she chuckles. Their last exchange is Rue asking to stay on his couch for a while and Ali says, “Of course, you can. It’s always yours.” Rue says thanks and that would be the last time Ali see’s Rue alive. Technically they have a conversation about Fezco escaping prison but that was just Rue’s dream haha

In a heartbreaking moment, Ali comes into the living room and tries to wake Rue up but comes to the horrifying realization that Rue has died. He see’s the pills on the table and runs a test on them confirming that there was Fentanyl in them. Ali quietly asks God to give Rue peace. I was still in denial watching this that Rue was dead. I wasn’t sure what the explanation would be but I knew Rue couldn’t be dead. It didn’t hit me until he wrote her name in his book. Then I realized that Rue’s dream was her overdosing and it just floored me. Ali immediately makes the worst phone call of his life and tells Rue’s Mom that she has died. I was sad for Rue but pissed off that we probably wouldn’t get to see the justice Alamo deserved come to him bc this was the kind of story where I could see Alamo getting away with it. But thankfully since Ali had stuck by Rue through her addictions, he knew the whole story esp what Alamo was capable of and also knew exactly where those pills came from.

A devastated Ali shows up to a NA meeting and Colman Domingo delivers a phenomenal performance, I gotta just post the entire transcript of the scene:

I used to believe that the world would be a better place if people could empathize with addiction.
To understand that addicts were suffering from an incurable disease… no different than cancer.
The addict may be in remission, but that… that disease ain’t gone.
I thought that empathy was the key.
But if you can empathize… with an addict, you can also empathize with a dealer.
They’re selling drugs to feed their children.
Who can’t understand that?
So maybe, uh… empathy ain’t that helpful after all.
And maybe the real disease… is that people no longer know the difference between right and wrong.
I don’t care what your struggles may be.
You poison kids for money.
You’re evil.
It’s plain and simple.
[sniffling] The number one cause of death for people under the age of 50… is fentanyl.
That ain’t an accident.
That’s big business.
I ain’t just talking about the kid on the corner selling fake Percocets.
You know how many motherfuckers got to be complicit?
From the governments that allow their people to make the chemicals, to the shipping companies to bring that shit across the seas, to the dockworkers that let that shit in, to the cartels, the cookers, the corrupt cops, the fucking bureaucrats at the border, the nonprofits who justify it, and the lawyers and politicians who defend it all.
A couple of months ago…
I lost someone I really cared about.
And for the first time in a long time…
I picked up a drink.
I didn’t even know what to do with the pain.
I’ve been a Christian, a Muslim.
And suddenly, I found myself not believing in shit.
But that ain’t it either.
I just know that I’m tired.
Tired of losing people.
Tired of spending my life in these rooms, and in diners, and… at my house.
Talking to kids.
Helping kids. Pouring my fucking heart and soul into kids.
Only to not see them get a second chance.
I’m done.
Only thing I know for certain is that there is a right and a wrong in this world.
There ain’t no in between.
You’re either making the world a better place or you’re making it worse.
In the end, it’s that fucking simple.
This is gonna be my last meeting.
I’m gonna find another way to be of better service.

Fcking wow man what an incredible speech, that shit was 100% right on the money. Talking about how many people have to be complicit to create this environment where Fentanyl is killings so many addicts. And then the gut wrenching pain of helping someone, seeing them so close to making it and then just like that, they’re gone. It’s brutal man and Ali has seen it over and over. It was sad to hear him say it was his last meeting bc he was so good as a sponsor but Rue being murdered changed something in him and there was no going back. The NA scene cuts to Ali sawing off a shotgun and I realized we were gonna get a shot at seeing justice come to Alamo. But I was thinking Ali was going to his death and I didn’t want to lose both him and Rue so I was conflicted about if I wanted Ali to go through with this.

Ali arrives at Alamo’s club and demands to see the manager. G played by Marshawn Lynch who did a great job with the character, eventually comes out to meet Ali and tries to blow him off but Ali reveals the shotgun and tells G to sit down. Ali says if G lies to him he will shoot his dick off. G confirms Alamo is there and that Rue died of a Fentanyl OD but lies when Ali asks who gave it to her so he shoots G in the dick. That escalated quickly haha Ali announces his intentions, “I’m here for Alamo Brown! Alamo motherfucking Brown! Get your bitch ass out here!” Lol I was loving this but I thought for sure Ali was dead. He subdues the rest of Alamo’s guys and waits until Alamo shows himself.

Alamo shows himself but uses Maddy as a shield daring Ali to shoot but he doesn’t so Alamo keeps hiding. Alamo asks who sent Ali and he says ‘Rue’ so Alamo knows he has a score to settle. He also knows Ali doest have much ammo left so his guys could kill him any time they want. But instead Alamo challenges Ali to an old fashioned duel. Kitty will roll a champagne bottle along the table and when it hits the floor and smashes, that is the cue to draw. They both give their word and agree to no cheating. As the bottle is about to drop, Alamo cheats and pulls his gun to fire but it clicks bc Bishop removed the bullets. The bottle smashes and Ali fires his gun twice killing Alamo. He gives him a 3rd shot just in case. Holy shit man this scene was fn intense and I was so relieved when Ali survived it. It felt cathartic to see the justice Alamo deserved come to him and even if most people wouldn’t know that Rue was murdered, at least her murder was avenged. Fcking loved this scene and nobody can tell me it was bad.

To end the show, Ali shows up at the farm Rue wanted to live at and introduces himself with his real name Martin McQueen. He informs the family that Rue passed away and they grieve her. The Father asks Martin to join them for dinner and asks Martin to say grace,

Father…
I pray today for those whose eyes have grown weak with sorrow… whose soul and body are weighed down by grief… and whose strength is failing.
Lord, pour out Your mercy upon them.
Let Your face shine upon them and save them in Your unfailing love.

*sighs*

Thank you, Rue.
Let her memory be a blessing.
Amen.

They all say Amen and Martin

see’s a vision of Rue sitting at the end of the table smiling as she speaks the last words of the series, “May God Bless us all.” And that is the end of Euphoria. I’m so glad it ended with Ali bc he was my fav character and made me happy that I watched the show. I wish I could have a conversation with Ali, I really felt like I could relate to him. I’d love to talk about spirituality, life, addiction, pretty much anything haha after all the fucked up shit that happened on this show, I’m so thankful they gave us the scene of Ali getting revenge for Rue. That was for every person that has lost a loved one to Fentanyl. I love great dialogue in TV and movies and Ali delivered some in every scene he was in. I wish Rue really was with him at that farm. Cheers to Colman Domingo for bringing such an amazing character to life and delivering support that I know some fans of the show will use to be victorious in their war with drugs and alcohol. If I could ask one more thing of him, it would be to write some names in his book for me: Brittany Anderson, Brandon Tindall, Scotty Mahoney, Issac Herdman. Prayers of love, peace and light sent up for every soul that has fallen to addiction and all those left behind to mourn them. May God Bless us all 🙏 ✌️ 💚

KAT

Despite Kat frustrating the hell out of me for most of the show haha I was really disappointed she wasn’t in S3 bc I wanted to see where the story would’ve taken her. Barbie Ferreira did a great job of making Kat a force to be reckoned with despite me not agreeing with a lot of her choices. We learn that Kat had a good, normal upbringing and was even dating 1 of the most popular guys in the school. But on a family trip, she gets stung by a jellyfish and can’t move around much so she sits by the pool drinking 72! Virgin Pina colada’s during the week and gains 20 pounds. I would’ve never thought you could gain that much weight from Pina Coladas. Kat returns to school after gaining weight and is immediately dumped by her boyfriend and this starts a struggle with her weight she continues to deal with on the show. She starts writing One Direction fan fiction and her stories become popular enough that she ends up with over 53,000 followers but keeps her identity a secret. She meets Jules before school starts and Jules encourages her to have physical hook ups to break free of her insecurities. Terrible advice but it makes sense considering Jules entire existence revolves around sex.

As I talked about at the start if this, Kat goes to a party in the 1st ep and is determined to lose her virginity so she lets 3 guys talk her into a bedroom. Something seriously fucked up about a girl losing her virginity in a ganging but thankfully she only had sex with 1 of them. But they filmed her having sex and then uploaded it to pornhub. Kat learns this as she meets Ethan, a good guy that is actually into Kat as a person. But first Kat has to deal with the video so she confronts 1 of the 3 and threatens them with child pornography distribution charges and they get scared so they delete the video. But Kat finds that someone has mirrored the video and kept it up however there are a lot of positive comments about her and people wanting to see more videos. This intrigues her and she starts to think about monetizing her body. Very dangerous road to go down.

Kat starts recording videos of her twerking while wearing a mask and it leads to a guy wanting to pay her for personal videos. She does a live video with the guy who wants to be humiliated and dominated which makes Kat feel powerful having that kind of control over a man. It felt safe to her bc it was over video and she wasn’t vulnerable to a physical encounter. Now that she is being paid, it gives her more freedom to change her appearance and she arrives to school one day with a bold new look, wearing fishnets, latex corsets, heavy makeup, and a choker reading “Kitty”, that makes her stand out. She starts giving Ethan the cold shoulder who is confused bc he thought they hit it off. At the carnival, Kat goes with Ethan and is having a good time with some light flirting. Ethan goes to get them something and stops to talk briefly with a girl. Kat is jealous but instead of asking Ethan what’s up, she leaves and has sex with a popular kid with a big sexual reputation. Shit like this made it hard to respect Kat as a character bc this was such a pathetic response to something that was literally nothing.

Kat continues to ignore Ethan again and even Maddy when she calls her after a bad confrontation with Nate so she can give some guy a blowjob in his car. At this point I was just disgusted with the character, having sex with random guys does not give a woman power. Men want sex and it is up to a woman to give it to them, That’s the true power and the more you give it away, the less power you can have. The more you connect yourself to ppl that don’t actually care for you and just want to fuck you, it drags your energy down. The more you connect with ppl that actually do care about you, the stronger your energy is. Originally I wanted Kat and Ethan to get together but after this I was hoping he would stay far away from her.

Kat expands her cam business to more customers and at the Halloween party puts more distance between her and Ethan. She makes fun of him for being a virgin and says she only wants physical hook ups with no commitment. I wish he would have told her to fuck off already but instead he offers her oral pleasure without expecting sex afterwards. Ethan genuinely liked her and it was definitely in her best interest to give him a chance. The oral goes well but Ethan prematurely fires his weapon haha and when he goes to clean it up, Kat freaks out about her growing feelings for him and leaves. Despite me not being a fan of Kat, I still felt bad for her when Maddy starts tearing her apart when they are trying to give advice to a pregnant Cassie. Attacking Kat’s new look that she gave herself after finally finding confidence in her body was fucked up. I think that was Maddy being jealous of Kat’s newfound confidence and her insecurity about knowing her confidence was 100% tied to Nate coming out. Kat leaves in tears and as bad as that was, when she gets back to her house I was afraid it was going to get worse.

Kat engages in a web-cam session with a user that hides his physical identity and uses a voice-distorter to talk to her. This user is not submissive and clearly tries to exert his dominance over her and get her to be submissive to him, which she does. Fuck man I was really worried that Kat would lose her confidence and herself to this guy but thankfully she seems to realize it is not a good thing and we don’t see any more of him. At the Winter Formal, Kat decides to embrace her feelings for Ethan. She seeks him out and apologizes for her cruel behaviour and comments and says she loves him. He if more than happy to reciprocate and they leave as a couple. Def liked this moment bc I thought they would be a great couple and help bring out the best in each other. But as S2 starts, they seem happy but under the surface she is unhappy in the relationship and is struggling to stay in love with him. Bc of course she is.

Kat has a crazy dream where a Dothraki warrior kills Ethan and then has sex with her lol can’t lie I laughed at that absurdity of it all. The rest of the dream is social media influencers yelling at her to love herself. Obv that is the root of her deteriorating feelings for Ethan, that fact that she doesn’t even love herself. Loving yourself doesn’t mean there aren’t things you would change about yourself, it means that you can recognize the good things about yourself too that don’t need to be changed. Ethan could have helped her with that but she never gives him the chance. Their relationship is at the point where Kat doesn’t even want to be alone with Ethan inviting their friends on what was supposed to be a date. It gets worse at a dinner with Ethan’s parents, Kat is so insecure about herself that she can’t even answer Ethan’s Mom’s when she asks Kat to tell her about herself. I knew the relationship’s days were numbered after that.

Kat tells Maddy that she is not in love with Ethan and Maddy encourages her to trust her instincts and not force a relationship. I was hoping Kat and Ethan would have a good connection but Kat needed to deal with her issues bc if she can’t love herself, she won’t know how to love anyone else either. They break up at a cafe and this scene made me wish I could personally tell Kat to go fuck her self lol just an absolute insane gaslighting experience. I did not expect that at all. Kat makes up some bullshit about breaking up with Ethan bc she has a terminal brain disorder 🤦‍♂️ Ethan is skeptical and the gaslighting goes from 0 to 10 as Kat accuses Ethan of saying shit he didn’t say and trying to break up with her but thankfully he is not dealing with this toxic bullshit. He calls her out for everything she is doing, officially ends the relationship and pretty much tells her to fuck off but I really wish he would have said the words haha

Just an absolutely insane way to end the relationship, Ethan deserved so much more respect than that. I feel like every person is made up of 2 halves, ‘edge’ and responsibility. If one has too much of the other, the relationship doesn’t work. I have a friend that always found guys that were high edge but almost zero responsibility and it always ended bad. She had one guy that was high responsibility and almost zero edge and it also didn’t work. But when she finally found a guy with high responsibility and average edge, it worked out great bc they could keep it normal most of the time but then wild out (within reason haha) when they wanted to. I think Kat would say Ethan had low edge but I think it was closer to average, he just needed to be with the right person to wild out and Kat never gave him the chance. I wish Kat could have figured out her issues bc there is a Lion waiting to come out of her and her connection with Ethan could’ve given them both a chance to be the best versions of themselves.

I remember Maddy making a comment about Kat and Ethan saying she could never be in a relationship like that bc she needed the storm. Fck that comment really annoyed me bc it’s such a toxic, immature stance to have. Every relationship has storms but not every relationship has self-created storms. Yes storms can be terrible and destructive and violent. But storms can also be beautiful and lead to greater connections. It’s all about your reaction to them. Not every reaction to a storm has to be fear and chaos and something negative. If you stay calm and focus on what it will take to weather the storm, you can get through it. And when you are in a safe environment, a storm can be amazing if it leads to people in the house coming together to snuggle or watch movies or whatever you want to do to ride out the storm. In a storm, the people you are with and keeping them safe are your priority. If you act that way in a relationship, you can ride out any storm. By treating your partner like you are one flesh, you will see it as us against them. The world is gonna throw enough storms your way so fuck them. Let your partner off the hook exclusively. Don’t direct your anger or vitriol towards them. Don’t be purposefully confrontational. Find a way to join them in venting. That’s how you make sure that storms don’t destroy you and that you can ride them out together. Storms will always be there but your reaction doesn’t need to be chaos. Self-created storms are the biggest danger to a relationship bc one person is purposefully hurting the other. So no, Maddy, you don’t need your relationships to have the kind of self-created storms you and Nate react to with utter fucking chaos lol

I think women that are hard on themselves date pieces of shit bc it makes them the fixer rather than the one needing to be fixed. When they date a good guy, the insecurities start and they start to feel uncomfortable around the other person. But when they date a piece of shit, they know they are the better person so they feel more secure around them. I should’ve been a psychologist lol That’s pretty much it for Kat on the show, the rest of her scenes are as a side character in the Cassie/Maddy drama. Def funny when Maddy is chasing Cassie and Kat is following telling Maddy to stop while BB is telling her to kick Cassie’s ass lol Kat’s last scene is sitting quietly in the bathroom with Maddy and Cassie after their fight. Def a lacklustre end to the character and I was disappointed to hear she wasn’t in S3 bc despite not being a fan, I really wanted to see her become the best version of herself. I guess Barbie Ferreira was just done with the show and when she learned they didn’t have big plans for her character, didn’t want to come back. Can’t say I blame her, they wrote Kat to be a huge asshole breaking up with Ethan and if they were going to try to redeem that moment then her S3 would have been a big disappointment. In the end, I did not like Kat but knew that she had good in her, just wish she could’ve seen it.

ALAMO

Big fan of Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje so I was pumped to see him on the show. Really wanted him to be a good guy but figured there was a good chance he would be a villain but I never dreamed that he would kill Rue. The way he was trafficking those women that worked for him was fucked up and pretty much guaranteed his villain status. I was happy he saved Rue from Laurie but figured he would ask Rue for something in return one day that she would not want to give him. Shortly after meeting Rue, a dancer named Tish OD’s on the product Rue brought from Laurie so Alamo thinks he has been sabotaged and takes Rue out to the field where he shoots the apple off her head. Alamo is impressed with he composure so he gives her a job and starts negotiating with Laurie for Rue to work for him permanently, she doesn’t want to give up Rue but Alamo is not taking no for an answer. Laurie calls Alamo a pig which really bothers him and he spends the next days thinking about it and getting himself riled up. Alamo thinks he is a big time player so for Laurie to compare him to a pig that eats it’s own shit is the ultimate disrespect. In response, Alamo’s guys release a pig into Laurie’s house that starts destroying things and shitting everywhere lol Alamo makes sure she know who did it by having them write, “Remember the Alamo.”

Crazy to learn that Tish OD’d bc Laurie’s guy Wayne forgot to clean his scale and the microscopic traces of Fentanyl were enough to kill her. Fucking scary that’s all it takes. Alamo escalates the war with Laurie by having Bishop poison her pet bird Paladin. Laurie responds by sending her guys in masks to rob Alamo’s club but Rue recognizes Faye on the surveillance and tells Alamo confirming it was Laurie. Man I didn’t want Rue or Faye to die but it seemed like it was heading that way. During a poker game with Rue, Alamo, G and Bishop, the DEA is listening through Rue who suggests using new connections to sells drugs. But recently Rue has talked about wanting to get out of the drug business so Alamo gets suspicious that Rue all of a sudden wants back in. Alamo says she looks like a rat trying to figure out which way to go and man I wasn’t sure Rue would survive that poker game. But Alamo assumes she is using and Rue says she has to cover up her nervousness from wearing the wire. Rue wins the game on the river and they warn her that messing with hard drugs will eventually kill her. S3 had some fn intense scenes.

We learn about Alamo’s backstory which was so fn interesting. His Father died when he was young and his Mother was a sex worker trying to make enough money to survive. Alamo bonds with one of her clients Preston, who has significant facial scarring, as Preston treats his Mother and Alamo with kindness even sneaking him a chocolate bar. The facial scarring was from a work accident and he was expecting a big settlement. When it finally comes in, he sets up Alamo and his Mother in a really nice apartment with nice things and has Alamo in a private school. Preston tells Alamo he is getting ready to propose. After a family vacation, they arrive home to see their apartment has been robbed of everything they have. Alamo’s Mother freaks out and ends things with Preston leaving with Alamo. They get to another man’s apartment and Alamo see’s all of the things from their apartment in the man’s place realizing his mother set the whole thing up to steal Preston’s money. His mother tells him not to look at her like that but this was a defining moment for Alamo. After losing a good life and a good Father to his Mother’s deceit, he vowed he would “never again would a bitch outsmart him.”

Man that was a heartbreaking story, couldn’t imagine being a kid and seeing a great life ripped away from you. His Mother was fn cruel with her comments about Preston’s facial scars and obviously the robbery. No wonder Alamo became the kind of man he is and why Laurie’s pig comment bothered him so much. He probably felt like Preston being disrespected behind his back and that fuelled his rage. That rage comes out towards one of his tailors who he thinks purposely made his suit slightly too short to disrespect him and almost kills the guy. After the robbery, Alamo is suspicious that Rue played a part in it and interrupts Rue and Maddy having lunch at a diner. Maddy has no idea how dangerous Alamo is so she is engaging him in conversation like it’s no big deal. Alamo makes a remark about needing to know who your employees really are so you know who is working for you or against you. You knew that comment was directed towards Rue so I was starting to get concerned that trying to navigate Laurie’s Nazi crew, Alamo and the DEA was gonna end bad. Alamo tells Rue G and Bishop are waiting to take her somewhere. Rue doesn’t want to leave Maddy alone with Alamo, right fully so, but she had her own big problems.

Alamo starts talking with Maddy who tells him about how much money can be made from OnlyFans showing him picture of Cassie saying she could get her to a point of making a million a month. Alamo says he has lots of girls that look just like that and maybe they should partner up. Maddy agrees and goes to Alamo’s club to pick some girls to work with. Next time we see Alamo is talking to his horse before getting on and riding toward Rue, who is buried in the dirt up to her neck, swinging a club about to hit her. Rue manages to get Alamo to spare her life saying she can get back everything that was stolen from him by using Faye to help them 3D print a key and robbing Wayne’s safe. Alamo agrees to meet Laurie and her crew at his house for a business deal and to clear the air between them. Laurie asks to use one of Alamo’s businesses to transport 80 kilos (damn) of Fentanyl and if he helps them, they will give him back everything they stole in the robbery. Wayne says if Alamo refuses they’ll send everything to the FBI and makes a racial remark so G responds, “Hey, I’d watch your motherfucking mouth, playboy.” Lol man I had no idea how this was gonna end but I knew it was gonna be bad for one but maybe all. Laurie wants Rue to do the run but Alamo refuses and they make the deal anyways. Little do they know that Rue was recording the entire conversation for the DEA so I had a hope she could make it out alive if the DEA worked fast enough.

Maddy asks Alamo if she can get time off for the girls she picked so she can introduce them to the influencer scene and get their numbers up but Alamo gets pissed off that Maddy is trying to steal his girls. They work 6 days a week and Alamo wants every second of that bc that’s how he makes his money. Alamo is paranoid that everyone is trying to fuck him and you know a guy like Alamo being paranoid is not a good combo. After Naz threatens Cassie, she turns to Maddy who then turns to Alamo. Fuck I knew that was gonna be a mistake she would regret. Alamo invites her into the hot tub with him even picking her swimsuit and starts rubbing her feet. Really felt bad for Maddy knowing what Alamo was planning to do with her. Maddy is talking about Rue and mentions that she said she is working with the fucking DEA and Alamo subtly reacts to it but doesn’t get mad about it or let on to Maddy that he believes it. I knew Rue was in big trouble after that but as I said in Maddy’s section, no way is she that stupid to mention Rue working with the DEA to Alamo Brown.

Alamo agrees and they set up a meeting with Naz where Nate is buried. At the scene, Alamo wets his finger to determine the wind meaning shit was about to go down. Alamo hands Maddy a bag supposedly containing 1 million in cash but when Naz checks it, it’s full of pictures. Before he can act on the betrayal, Alamo shoots him leaving him mortally wounded. Alamo finishes it with a shot to the head. As Naz’s guy digs up Nate, Alamo informs Maddy this was not an act of charity and that she owes him an insurmountable debt. Even after being done with Nate, he still finds a way to fuck up Maddy’s life. In the finale, Rue comes back to Alamo’s club all beat up from escaping from Laurie and Alamo congratulates her. Rue is worried Laurie knows it was her but Alamo tells her that it’s all good, he got the upper hand on Laurie. After Maddy mentioned the DEA, Alamo knew Rue was gonna double cross him and switched the ambulances putting a dead rat in the one that the DEA raided.

Alamo offers Rue percocets to help with the pain and is acting really nice to her, offering to pay for any medical treatment she needs and 1 week off. The week off was a huge red flag considering how pissed he got when Maddy asked for time off for the girls, I was really holding out hope that Rue’s plot armour would save her haha but the percocets were laced with Fentanyl so when Rue takes one, she overdoses and dies. Once I accepted Rue was actually dead, my only hope for the remainder of the series was to see Alamo get what he had coming and boy did we ever. Ali shows up at his club looking for revenge and after shooting G, demands Alamo come out to face him. Alamo does but is using Maddy as a human shield like the scumbag he is. He asks who sent Ali and he answers “Rue.” Alamo loves his westerns so he challenges Ali to an old fashioned duel which Ali accepts. The deal is a champagne bottle will be rolled on a table and when it falls off and breaks, they will draw. As the bottle is rolling and almost to the edge, Alamo pulls out his gun and fires but the gun is empty. Alamo looks at Bishop who has betrayed him and removed the bullets from the gun. Ali fires his shotgun dropping Alamo to the ground and shoots him in the head to finish him off for good. Fcking loved that bc not only did that bitch get what he had coming but he died knowing it was bc of Rue.

Alamo could have been a hero if he changed a few things about the way he does business but that wouldn’t be realistic. You have to be a piece of shit to do what Alamo does. Hated the character but really enjoyed his time on the show and he was def one of the best additions to S3. Never dreamed he would kill Rue but it gave us an awesome Ali scene and at least he got a death deserving of his crimes.

BISHOP

The silent enforcer behind Alamo’s operation, Darrell Britt-Gibson does a great job making Bishop feel a like a real character. It’s clear from the start that Bishop is Alamo’s #1 guy but also that Alamo is the boss. Bishop see’s Rue dancing with some of the girls the night they meet her when she makes the delivery and tries to get her off the dance floor but Alamo reprimands him and tells him to leave her be. Stuff like this makes Bishop’s decision in the finale more clear. One of my favourite Bishop lines comes when Alamo sends him to Laurie’s to make a deal but secretly instructs him to poison her cherished pet bird Paladin.

“BISHOP: You name him after Richard Boone?
LAURIE I didn’t know Blacks liked westerns.
BISHOP: It’s not a Black and white thing. It’s cowboys and Indians. Civilized man versus the savage.
LAURIE: And which are you?
BISHOP: I’m a motherfuckin cowboy.”

Fuck yeah haha such a great line. Rue plays an intense game of poker with Bishop, Alamo and G that ends when Rue and bishop go all in and rue wins with the river card. But during the game, Alamo gets suspicious of Rue pushing to make more drug deals and while he eventually writes to off to rue using again, Bishop seemed to see through it. That makes the next scene more intense as Rue comes into a utility room at the club that Bishop is lining with plastic sheets wearing a protective suit and shower cap. There is a saw and other tools for dismembering a body on the table so you can’t help but think this is a message for Rue. I thought Rue was in big, big trouble when Bishop delivers a speech about her bringing them trouble,

“I’m of the belief that certain people are cursed. I don’t pretend to know why, but… wherever these unlucky folk go, misfortune abounds. Rain don’t come. Crops dry out. Cows get sick. Ever since you came around… there’s been a cascade of trouble. I’m not saying you got a 666 inscribed on the back of your skull, but… something about you gives me the heebie-jeebies. Alamo’s waiting for you at the bar.”

The way he delivers that with his monotone voice and cool demeanour could send a chill down your spine. Bishop is at the table when Maddy asks Alamo to give the girls some time off and Alamo gets pissed off. He asks Bishop is people are trying to fuck him and while Bishop agrees, he helps Maddy out saying that he doesn’t think she is one of them. Cool detail to look back on after the finale. Rue is watching G feed a mouse to the pet snake they have and Bishop fills her in on the details,

“You know the story behind this snake? Used to belong to Sweet. Dancer. She had a whole freak act with it. At night, she’d take it home, let it curl up in bed with her and fall asleep. She loved this snake. But one day… It just stopped eating. She switched from frozen rats to live ones. He’d choke them out, but… Still wouldn’t eat. Finally, she took it to the vet. Said gotta be sick or something. Vet shakes his head and says, “Miss… This is a perfectly healthy python.” Sweet shook her head. It’s got to be something wrong. That’s when the vet looked her dead in her eye and said… “The reason it wraps itself around you at night” “is because it’s sizing you up. And the reason it ain’t eating…Is because it’s preparing for a much larger meal.” Sweet came back to work, told Alamo that story…And I never heard him laugh harder. He gave her ten bands for a snake she’d have given him for free. Why? Because it’s a reminder. You never really know a motherfucker’s true intentions.”

Fcking great story and Bishop was the perfect character to deliver it. After Bishop tell Rue she is going to rob Wayne’s safe for them, Bishop asks her if she is going to go through with it. Rue says yes and Bishop says that’s good bc he visited her mother recently and would hate to have lied to her about Rue implying they would kill her if she said no about robbing the safe. At this point I figured both Alamo and Bishop would have to die for Rue to survive and I wasn’t seeing how that was going to happen. Bishop drives Maddy to the club and they actually have chemistry together, bonding over this dog snowflake. She says she figured he was a Doberman kind of guy and he says he likes to surprise people. At the club, Alamo talks about having 4 babies with Maddy and Bishop is visibly disgusted and leaves the room.

Ali shows up at the club shooting G and demanding Alamo come out to face him. Alamo does using Maddy as a human shield but when Ali doesn’t fire, he challenges Ali to an old fashioned duel. They will roll a champagne bottle along a table and when it falls off and breaks, they fire. But just before the bottle falls off, Alamo draws his gun and fires but only hears clicks bc the gun is empty. Bishop comes into view to make sure Alamo knows he emptied his gun before he gave it to him. Alamo says to Bishop, “I’ll see you in hell, you motherfu–“ and Ali kills him. Bishop offers Maddy a ride home and she accepts and they leave the club with snowflake. I fcking knew there was a hero in Bishop so I fcking love that he double crossed Alamo and freed all these people from his tyranny. And what a power couple he and Maddy will be, he is exactly what she needs to advance in her world and make sure nobody takes advantage of her. Maddy will be a great influence on bishop to leave #1 guy status behind for good and become The guy. Bishop was 1 of the best parts of S3 and helped make sure Rue got the justice she deserved.

LAURIE AND HER NAZI’S

Best word I can use to describe Laurie is unsettling, she was almost like the female version of Bishop haha the monotone voice and cool demeanour is not something you expect from a villain like her but it made her feel dangerous. Great job by Martha Kelly. We meet Laurie after Ashtray kills Mouse and Fez wants to takeover as the new distributor in the area. Her guys ambush Fez, Ashtray, Rue. Custer and Faye in the car and force them into their apartment for a strip search. For a woman to be a top player in the drug game, you need a loyal crew and she def had that with Wayne, Wade, Mitch and her husband Bruce. I knew I recognized the actor that played Wayne, Toby Wallace, and finally realized he played a big role in The Bikeriders. Awesome movie. Also a big fan of James Landry Hébert who played Harley, been crushing it in Westerns like 1883 and Horizon Part One.

After putting a scare into them, Laurie grills him about questioning the way Mouse does business considering he brought a kid and an addict to a drug deal. Can’t really blame her for that observation haha Fez says Ashtray is his business partner and Rue is not an addict and he trusts her with his life. Laurie is satisfied and agrees to make a deal wth Fez and lets his crew leave. Rue has a brilliant idea to have Laurie front her a suitcase full of drugs so she goes to see Laurie to pitch this plan. Laurie agrees to front her a suitcase worth 10k and says she need to pay up and re-up every month but issues a serious warning, ‘Rue, if you screw me, I’ll have you kidnapped and sold to some real sick people. I always find a way to make my money back. I’m serious.” I thought that was rue’s future bc no chance this plan was going to work. I almost couldn’t handle how stupid and naive Rue was haha

Eventually Rue shows up at Laurie’s going through withdrawals and trying to pay her with stolen jewelry and cash bc her mother destroyed the suitcase. Laurie rejects the stolen loot and I was seriously concerned about what would happen next. She actually sympathizes with Rue bc she once was addicted to opioids when she suffered an injury as a college athlete. Rue asks for pills but Laurie says she doesn’t have any and suggests Rue sell her body for money to buy drugs lol wtf. Rue says she’ll take anything Laurie has so Laurie decides to have her shoot fucking heroin. One of the most uncomfortable scenes on the show for me bc Rue didn’t really want to do it and knowing how addictive that shit is, it really bothered me that Laurie would do that to her. Truly fcking evil. We don’t see her again until S3 when she has Rue working for her to pay off the debt which is now 43 million due to compounding interest lol come on.

After sending Rue on a run to Alamo Brown’s club, he calls her and tries to negotiate for Rue but Laurie refuses and calls him a pig which enrages him. In response Alamo has a giant pig let into Laurie house that starts destroying everything and shitting everywhere. But that’s not the end of it, Alamo sends Bishop to make a deal with Laurie for product but more importantly to kill Laurie’s cherished bird Paladin. Laurie is devastated at the loss of Paladin and wants to kill every single one of Alamo’s crew but thinks it wouldn’t be painful enough. Hate that an innocent bird lost his life for this bullshit, Laurie and Alamo could both kill each other for all I care lol Rue tries to call Laurie so they can get a wiretap on her but Laurie tells Rue she is a liar and that she never wants to speak to her again. Laurie responds to Paladin’s death by sending a crew led by Wayne and Harley to rob Alamo’s safe at his club.

With things escalating, Laurie actually accepts an offer to come to Alamo’s ranch to clear the air between them and make a business deal. Laurie wants to use 1 of Alamo’s companies to transport 80 kilos of Fentanyl across the border. I wish I could wipe that shit off the face of the earth. Laurie says if Alamo refuses then she will mail the contents of the safe to the FBI but if he does the deal, they will give him back what they stole. Alamo agrees to the deal but Rue has the DEA listening to the entire conversation. There is no intention from Alamo to actually work with Laurie so he sends Rue to Laurie’s compound with a 3D printed key for Wayne’s safe that Faye helped them get. Rue has G punch her in the face so she can say Alamo beat her up and she has come to Laurie’s to help them get revenge on Alamo. But Wayne and Harley clearly don’t believe her and talk about punishing her for treason. Laurie suggests selling Rue like Alamo does to his girls. Harley and Wayne think Rue could be lying and say that she should be the one to pull the trigger on Alamo and Laurie comments that Alamo wouldn’t expect that. Wayne asks her to shake on it but when Rue puts out her hand, he grabs it and slices the palm of her hand with a knife as the rest of the crew laughs. Fcking Nazi’s man at this point there were more people on this show I wanted dead than alive lol

Rue and Faye are in the middle of robbing Wayne’s safe when Faye turns on Rue and screams Wayne’s name waking him up and alerting him to the robbery. Rue grabs a wrench and smashes Waynes in the knee and makes a run for it down the bunker. Wayne eventually gets on his feet and does his best to chase rue firing a shotgun at her, barely missing. Rue gets out of the bunker and runs down the driveway until Harley comes riding out on his horse and snares Rue’s legs with a Lasso. As Harley is dragging her back to Laurie’s compound, G shoots him with a sniper rifle knocking him off his horse and allowing Rue to escape. Fuck what an edge of your seat fcking scene lol Mitch is riding with Big Eddy in the ambulance as they pass through the border and informs Laurie they are 30 minutes out. Harley and Wayne discuss who betrayed them and let Rue out with Faye being the prime suspect but Wayne refuses to accept that and insist it was someone else. Wayne gets diarrhoea from Alamo’s product but Faye says it should’ve made him constipated and Wayne realizes they have been set up. As the DEA descend upon Laurie’s compound, Wayne and Faye takes horses from the barn and flee.

The DEA remove the floor coverings and find a dead rat instead of Fentanyl. Harley wants to go down shooting but decides to surrender at the last second. Laurie does not intend on seeing the inside of a prison cell so she climbs up to the roof and hangs herself. On the highway, Faye flags down a family to pull over to help her as Wayne comes out of hiding with a gun. I hate to think of what happened to that family. Hopefully a cop drives by and stops anything bad from happening to the family and puts Wayne where his Nazi ass belongs. Fn crazy end to Laurie and the Nazi’s but they def made great villains. Hanging herself was not how I saw Laurie going out man that was a shocking scene.

FAYE

I really liked Faye and wanted good things to happen to her. Chloe Cherry did a great job of making Faye likeable and memorable. We first meet her as Custer’s girlfriend at the start of S2 on NYE when Fez, Ashtray, Custer and Rue are going to meet with Laurie. Within minutes of being on screen and talking with Rue in the car, she is shooting heroin in the back seat man that escalated quickly haha she is forced to strip with the rest of the crew but is allowed to leave when Laurie’s guys don’t find a wire. Custer asks Fezco if Faye can stay with him bc she pushed a cop off a balcony 😳 despite that wild story, he agrees and she starts living with Fez. When Cal comes over trying to get the tape of him and Jules back that Fezco has no idea even exists, Faye was great with her comments and questions like, “Do you and your son like… fuck people together?” Lol this show man. Weeks later, Custer meets with her in secret outside the house informing her that the cops are trying to get him to pin Mouse’s murder on Fezco and Ashtray. I did not want to see Fezco get arrested so I was hoping Faye would help him. Fez treats her good so it’s no surprise that she was enjoying living there and fitting in as well as she was. As Fez is getting ready for Lexi’s play, Faye irons his suit and helps him get the roses ready.

Right before Fez leaves for the play, Custer comes in the apartment acting weird and asking questions about Mouse. Faye realizes he is trying to set Fez and Ashtray up so she purposely drops a glass and it smashes on the ground. She bends down to pick it up and is out of view from Custer so she mouths to Fezco that he is being set up. Fez starts to choose his words more carefully but Ashtray figures it out and snaps, running over to stab Custer in the neck. Faye is horrified as Fez covers Custer’s mouth so the cops don’t bust in. Ashtray isn’t going to go quietly so he barricades himself in the bathroom as Fez pleads with him to surrender. Faye curls up on the floor as SWAT comes in and Ashtray fires through the door causing a gunfight that gets Fez shot. SWAT advances to the bathroom as Fez screams that a kid is in there and to not kill him. As the officer enters the bathroom, Ashtray kills him with a shotgun blast before being killed by a police sniper. 1 of the most intense scene in the show. Fcking great twist to have Faye drop the glass and help them. Thought for sure she would die bc if that but thankfully she survived.

Unfortunately it doesn’t seem like life got much better for Faye as S3 starts with her and Rue transporting drugs forLaurie by swallowing balloons of drugs and then passing them when they got back. That looked absolutely brutal and the scenes of them swallowing the balloons and passing them were some of the most uncomfortable I’ve ever watched on any TV show. Faye falls in love with Wayne, 1 of Laurie’s crew and becomes his gf and we get wild scene of them having sex lol it really, really bothered me that Wayne was giving her a tattoo and she hopes it is a butterfly but it’s actually a fucking swastika. Fuck did that make my blood boil. Felt so bad for Faye bc she had nobody looking to save her so she has to just accept whatever people give her whether it was love or disrespect. When Laurie has a crew rob Alamo’s safe, Faye is driving the getaway vehicle and is recognized by Rue. I was honestly shocked Rue turned her in to Alamo and didn’t try to cover for her. Prob would have if Rue knew what Faye did for Fezco.

To get out of trouble with Alamo, Rue comes up with a plan to rob Wayne’s safe but needs Faye to take a good picture of it so they 3d print a copy. Faye doesn’t immediately agree but Rue is able to sell her on it as long as she gets big money so she provides the picture. I thought for sure Faye’s story would end with Wayne catching her betraying him and kill her. Rue comes back to Laurie’s compound saying she wants to be on their side and while they let her stay, they lock her in a room. But actually Rue is there to rob the safe. The plan starts with Faye letting Rue out and they both sneak down to the safe. Rue uses the 3D printed key and is able to get into the safe but there is no money there. Faye freaks out at not seeing any money and starts to get louder as she accuses Rue of betraying her. Rue tries to keep her calm saying she will get her the money but Faye screams out, “WAYNE!” And he wakes up. Rue knocks Faye to the ground, smashes Wayne’s knee with a wrench and runs to escape the bunker.

When Wayne gets diarrhea after taking some of the pills they got, Faye says the pills should’ve made him constipated and he realizes they have been set up. They go to the barn and manage to get away on horse before the DEA finds them during the raid on Laurie’s. Last time we see Faye she is flagging down a car for help and a family stops when we see Wayne emerge from hiding with a gun. Hopefully he just forced them out of the car but with that Nazi piece of shit you never know. I hate that Faye’s story ended with her still with Wayne. I was hoping she would somehow get away from them and head onto a path for a good life. But with how it ended, at best they get away and she become’s a Nazi’s wife and enjoys a life of abuse and adultery. At worst, she is killed or arrested and spends most of the rest of her best years in prison. She didn’t deserve that, she deserved to find a good ol country boy that Wayne tried to fuck with and instead got what he had coming. Then Faye and the country boy live happily ever after.

Well this started as me venting some quick thoughts about each character and turned into a full walk down each characters journey on the show lol except Rue, that was the first one I did so it is just my raw, unfiltered and unresearched thoughts coming out. I thought about changing it to being like the others but decided to keep it as is, it feels like something special after reading it back. But as I researched the scenes for other characters to make sure I wasn’t forgetting anything, I realized I had more to say than I originally thought and wanted to talk about all of the key scenes. So it ended up being much longer than I thought but going over each character made me realize why I stuck with the show. I feel one of my purposes in life is to find God in the most unlikely places. Euphoria really, really tested my ability to do that haha but in the end I was able to find God in each of their stories and it was a very powerful feeling. As I said at the start, it’s ironic the show is called Euphoria bc each character feels like they are in their own living hell. That made it tough to find God sometimes but it made me look harder and in the end I feel my spiritual abilities like wisdom were sharpened.

I was thinking recently about what I would say if someone asked me if Euphoria was a great show and I think I finally figured out how to answer that. You see, to me, Euphoria wasn’t a good show or a great show or a bad show, Euphoria was an experience. A motherfucking rollercoaster of an experience haha but one I can look back on be happy I was a part of it. When the experience was bad it was so fucking bad and brought out real emotions. But when the experience was good, it was fucking great. Elliot’s Song will forever be one of my favourite moments on a TV show bc of the experience it gave me. I am grateful I got to watch a character like Ali and can talk and ponder his words and philosophies and wisdom. I hated most of these characters while I was watching lol but writing about them has made me better understand them and now I can look at each one with some level of fondness.

I think the biggest legacy of the show will be showing how toxic and dangerous certain behaviours can be. Rue dying will be a sobering moment for young drug addicts watching this show and I think that is so important in this day and age. Maddy letting Nate and Cassie go fuck up each others lives and moving on to bigger and better things is a great example to young women who have made their whole life about 1 toxic guy to say fuck him and become a Boss Bitch. Ali will remain a great example for why mentors are so important. I think seeing how fucked up Nate’s behaviour in the first 2 seasons might be a wake up call for guys who are acting like that but might not realize it. Lexi is a great example of why you don’t just stay in the background, you push yourself to the front and give your dreams your best shot. Kat is great example of why you should recognize the great things about yourself, to love yourself bc you are a force to be reckoned with. I hope Cassie is an example of why you shouldn’t make one guy your entire life but also strength when faced with the toughest choices like abortion.

It’s tough, I want to spend more time with Ali and Rue but I don’t want to rewatch most of this shit lol now that this is written, I’ll be able to let Euphoria go. I’m happy for having been on the journey and I definitely feel I understand the world a little bit better. I won’t be so quick to judge bc you never know what has led the person to that moment. There is only 1 fitting way to end this and that is the final words of the series, spoken by Rue,

“May God Bless us all.”